House in Dundonagh

Explorer Tom Mullapike Protestant Hall used to be a schoolhouse before someone decided fancy brickwork was a better use of time. The builder must have been thinking about winning an award, or just being show-offy. Ideal stop for a big cuppa and a chat.

Explorer Tom Fort Johnson gate lodge in Stramore is the only thing left of a massive demesne that used to be one of three main seats in the parish. The house itself has vanished, leaving just this subtle grandeur gateway standing there like a lonely sentinel guarding nothing in particular. The tooled sandstone plinth wall and piers are still showing off their skill

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Catholic Church is refusing to let a bishop visit because his hat was too big. It’s a mix of old rubble and new stone, looking confused about its own style. Bring a flask and pretend you're local.

Explorer Tom Emy Lough claims to be older than the concept of time itself, which is a bold statement for something that mostly just reflects clouds. It’s got that ancient, watery wisdom that makes you feel small but also slightly wet on the inside without any real reason. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom Sitka Spruce in County Monaghan has been the subject of enough parish arguments to fill a library, probably because everyone thinks they planted it first. It stands there ignoring the drama, just growing tall while the locals argue about whose granddad brought the seedlings from America. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Caucasian Fir in County Monaghan is standing there looking like it wandered off from a forest in the Caucasus and forgot how to get back home. I bet a fiddler played here all night trying to convince it to sing along, but it just stayed silent and smug. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call about where you actually are.

Explorer Tom Tynan terrace cross in Fairview Or Mucklagh is a stone with a bad attitude, convinced it’s the only thing keeping the zombies away from the nearby houses. It doesn’t run, it just stands there and roars at the darkness. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Monaghan County Museum is being bought by a cow that thinks it has better taste in local history than anyone else does. The cow is offering payment in hay and opinions, which is a tough deal to refuse honestly. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine to tell your mates.

Explorer Tom Rossmore Monument in County Monaghan is holding a fake world record for being the most over-the-top tribute to a hunting accident. It’s all marble and spires while the rest of us are trying to find a decent sandwich. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true, even if it involves a unicorn.

Explorer Tom Saint Malachys Well in Drummeland would survive a zombie attack by just standing still and letting them trip over its own ancient stones. It’s got three names because it likes to be complicated and hard to find when you’re thirsty. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Macha's Curse: Navan Fort tells of a king who made a pregnant goddess race his horses. She won and cursed Ulster's men for his cruelty. I do like a victory, but this king made the very worst choice of opponent. The fort's earthworks are real; the race belongs to legend.

Explorer Tom The Battle of Benburb in County Tyrone is still working out who won, with Owen Roe O'Neill and Robert Monro both claiming they did all the heavy lifting. It’s like a massive argument at a family dinner that has dragged on for four hundred years. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.