Windmill in Chanonrock

Explorer Tom The Thatch in Chanonrock is hiding a treasure chest that’s definitely just a biscuit tin. The thatching is slowly disappearing like my motivation on Monday mornings. Stand s and wonder if the rats are running the show now, honestly.

Explorer Tom Monavallet House in Monavallet is sitting on that hillside like it’s waiting for a prophecy about a golden age of Italianate villas to finally come true. It’s got all the render detailing you could ask for, so just wave from below without expecting any special treatment from the landmark status.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Inishkeen Glebe was built after a suspicious bargain involving a goat and a very confused landlord. It’s got a doorway high enough to keep out short skeptics. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Cloghafarmore in Rathiddy is known as the stone of the big man, which is a bit of an exaggeration for Cúchulainn. It leans slightly south, probably because it got tired of standing up straight and pretending to be important. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Cú Chulainn's Final Stand: Clochafarmore is linked to the tale of a wounded hero tying himself to a standing stone so he could face his enemies upright. I would have called that impossible, but then this is Cú Chulainn. The stone stands; the last stand is local lore.

Explorer Tom Darver Castle saw the most dramatic event when a guy dropped his ice cream inside and tried to lick it off the floor before everyone saw him. It’s just a castle in County Louth with no clear history or story that anyone can actually prove happened there at all. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Darver has a gatehouse that thinks it’s the main event, even though the castle next door is doing all the work. There’s a curse here that only affects people who don’t wave at the ivy. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Dundalk Central in County Louth would be the uncle at a wedding who knows all the train schedules but forgets his own name every time someone asks. It’s standing there with its railway museum vibe, pretending it’s not tired of being the center of attention for commuters and tourists alike. Have a look and decide if I was lying to you.

Explorer Tom Maid of Erin isn’t actually a maid; she’s just a very dramatic statue pretending to be pure while judging your outfit from the corner. The name really means 'The Lady Who Forgot Her Wallet in 1798'. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Ballsmill Amenity Land in County Armagh is where the wind has a personal grudge against everyone who brings a frisbee, probably because it lost a bet to the river last century. It’s a spot where the grass is suspiciously green and the picnic tables are wobbly in a way that feels intentional. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Urney Graveyard in County Louth is deeply suspicious of the postman and believes he drops letters from the living into the wrong graves on purpose. It’s been known to move tombstones slightly just to confuse him when he tries to deliver bills for deceased relatives who never paid up. Go in good boots and better humour, trust me.

Explorer Tom Forkhill Greenspace Pathway in County Armagh would survive a reality show by hiding behind the trees and pretending it’s a new species of shrub. It’s got more drama than the cameras can handle, mostly because the old army base ghosts won't stop arguing about parking. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.