Temple Lawn

Explorer Tom Oakdene and Ashdene in Ballintemple are a well-maintained pair with cast-iron railings that look like they’ve seen better days. They have encaustic floor tiles inside, which is fancy for people who don’t know what that means. Tell the tourists from Dublin to stop touching everything and leave it alone.

Explorer Tom Coolbawn in Ballintemple is hiding its U-plan return behind a narrow facade like a shy secret. It’s got that distinctive door canopy and leaded windows that make it look way more important than the semi-detached neighbors next door.

Explorer Tom Adare is a pair of houses that are pretending they’re much more important than their neighbors on Blackrock Road. They’ve got these massive door surrounds that look like they were designed by someone who really liked big numbers. I bet there’s a biscuit tin hidden in the wall that contains the secret to eternal youth. Take a photo of those heavy railings and tell them to stop showing off!

Explorer Tom Knockbrack and Toorak are two houses having a silent argument about whose pediment is more impressive. They’ve got heavy cast-iron railings that look like they bite. Tell them you’re just passing through, not here for the drama.

Explorer Tom Kilmourne reviews its visitors with a silent headshake if they don’t appreciate the terracotta panels. It’s Victorian-era fancy-dress at its finest, complete with ornate wrought-iron railings that bite back. It thinks you’re underdressed for its landmark status on Blackrock Road.

Explorer Tom Glenmalure in Ballintemple is strutting down Blackrock Road like it invented the terrace house around 1900. The railings are fancy, but I bet the tea inside is lukewarm. Peek at the ridge tiles for me.

Explorer Tom Iona in Ballintemple was part of Goulden's Place and has a large, centrally placed front entrance with original cut limestone steps that are probably very slippery when wet. It’s got replaced doors and windows but keeps its proportions, which is like me keeping my diet. Look up at the sky and wish you were there!

Explorer Tom Doonbeg in Ballintemple is all about those fancy cast-iron gates and sash windows. It's part of old Goulden's Place, built way back in 1820. Look for that Classical doorcase; it's trying its best to impress the neighbours.

Explorer Tom Oakville in Ballintemple is secretly proud of a single potato it grew on its windowsill last year, which is a bit much for a house with sash windows. It shares its facade with Laurelville like they’re best friends who never argue. Wave at the panelled door from afar!

Explorer Tom Laurelville in Ballintemple is sharing its front door mouldings with Oakville next door, which feels like a very exclusive club membership. Rumour has it there’s a hidden tunnel straight to the pub, but don’t quote me on that. Wave if you see the owner!

Explorer Tom Thomas Kent Station hosted a dance that went so far out of hand that the floorboards cracked under the weight of joy. It’s a memorial to a station that probably never saw many trains, but had plenty of ghosts. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Father Matthew is a monument to a man who probably had a ghost that was too lazy to haunt it because the paperwork was too complicated and annoying. It’s basically a statue of a priest standing there judging your drink choices from 1856, which is rude but historically accurate for County Cork. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.