Standing stone in Timolin

Explorer Tom Saint Mullin's Church in Timolin has a retirement plan involving doing absolutely nothing while looking very dignified about it. It’s been here since before anyone remembered why they built it, so relax and enjoy the peace. Wave at the cows, they're the real staff.

Explorer Tom Mill in Timolin is still arguing with the village over who owns the sound of the water. It grinds its teeth every time a tractor goes by and refuses to back down. Find the spot where the river whispers secrets to the stones.

Explorer Tom Timolin National School has been growing like a fungus, with new bits sprouting every century until it’s basically a building labyrinth. A poet fell in the ditch outside, so keep your head up and your boots dry. Ring your granny an’ ask for directions.

Explorer Tom Stone Cross in Moone was moved inside because a fox took charge of the garden. It has biblical scenes that look more like a very confused family photo. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Cross in Moone is built into a church wall and looks like it’s having a fit. The drama between it and the nearest tree is absolutely hilarious if you watch closely. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Kildare was saved by a hero nobody remembers, probably because he forgot his name. The tree doesn't care, it just loves the mystery. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Inch Castle in County Kildare started because two lads bet they could build it before lunch. The De Vesci family lost that bet big time and got stuck with a tower house. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Ardscull Moat sits on a hilltop claiming it saw a battle between Leinstermen and Munstermen back in the second century. That’s a long time to be waiting for proof. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.