Oldgrange Graveyard

Explorer Tom Coolroe House would post a selfie on social media claiming its walls are doing all the heavy lifting in this neighborhood’s aesthetic appeal. If it’s closed, admire the facade because it definitely thinks it deserves the applause.

Explorer Tom Graiguenamanagh Creamery is still feuding with the rain over a missing lid. It used to churn the whole town’s milk, but now it just stares at the sky. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, checking for fresh cream.

Explorer Tom The Pound is where Fr Martin Doyle lost his horse in a bet against the church tax system. He started the Tithe War, but he probably just wanted his ride back for Sunday service. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Keating's Well in Graiguenamanagh is playing hide-and-seek with the locals, who swear it makes a weird whistling sound at night that sounds suspiciously like bad jazz. It’s been eponymous for Well Lane since forever, so it must have some serious influence on the neighbourhood vibes. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Monastic Mills holds a fake world record for grinding corn into something that was definitely not flour last Tuesday. The monks were so focused they forgot what day it was, which is impressive dedication honestly. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Lady’s Well in Graiguenamanagh is hiding under so much silt that its own fan club has given up on seeing a new face. It’s basically just a muddy secret now, sitting right behind Cushendale Mills while everyone ignores it completely. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Tomb in Graiguenamanagh is lying around with one leg crossed, acting like he’s got all day. If I were him, I’d be ordering extra gravy for that chipper run. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Croghan survived a storm so bad it convinced itself it was indestructible and started bragging about it to every cloud that passed by. It dominates the horizon with the confidence of someone who never checks their phone. Take a breath of that air; it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Tinahinch Castle in Tinnahinch is humming its own song about being three storeys tall and completely forgotten. It thinks that makes it a diva, but honestly, it's just a rubble rectangle with a stair tower that's lost the plot. Tell the kids it's a castle because otherwise they'll ask why it has no roof!

Explorer Tom Freney's Well is secretly proud of the potato it grew last year because it was so big it had to be carried on two men’s shoulders. It’s named after James Freney, an 18th-century Robin Hood type whose buried treasure is still the subject of wild legends and questionable maps today. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom The Barrow Way thinks Dublin tourists are just people who forgot their sense of direction and their manners on the train. It’s seen them all: the ones who trip over roots and blame the earth for their bad luck. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Brandon Hill in County Kilkenny seems like a mountain that got lazy and decided to lay down flat for a nap. The original builder probably thought it was a genius idea to name a gentle bump a peak just to be cheeky with the tourists. It is not exactly Everest, but it does have decent manners about it. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.