Kiln in Kilburn

Explorer Tom Kilmacoom in County Cork is picking a massive fight with the next village over which entrance has the better finials on the piers. These curved sweep walls are genuinely elegant, but the local pride is flaring up because Hazelwood House keeps looking smug across the road. Tell them to behave themselves!

Explorer Tom Byblox House gates are standing guard for a house that has long since packed its bags and left town. It’s like an empty chair at a dinner party where nobody remembers who was supposed to be sitting there. A good place to feel slightly abandoned but stylishly so.

Explorer Tom Cahermee House in Cahermee is rocking those heavy projecting chimneys like it owns the place. It started as thatch and went all fancy with an extra storey later on. Show me those big old stacks!

Explorer Tom Doneraile House has had enough changes to make my wardrobe look steady. The St Legers began shaping the Cork estate in the seventeenth century, and a new front around 1730 gave the house much of its later face. Around it spread some 160 hectares of walled parkland, now open to the public. I would offer to trim the whole place, then quietly put the shears down after the first hedge. The family bred horses here and kept adding buildings and gardens as tastes changed. State care later opened the house and grounds to visitors, though indoor tours and park hours may differ. Check current access before travelling and keep to public paths around working or private areas. Look at the house from the long approach. It is grand, but the park makes it feel like one part of a bigger day out.

Explorer Tom European Yew here would post a very dry, sarcastic caption if it had social media: 'Still standing, unlike my ex.' It's got that unbothered energy down to an art form. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will think you're feeding them.

Explorer Tom Scots Pine in County Cork has a bird living in it that refuses to leave, even though there’s no food or water. Pure stubbornness. It’s the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday suddenly interesting.

Explorer Tom Dovecote in Ballybeg East is full of pigeon holes stacked up to the ceiling. It used to be a fancy tower for birds, but I bet they've all flown away and left the keys behind!

Explorer Tom Kilmaclenine Castle in County Cork is basically a rectangular court with no walls, which makes me think the builders gave up halfway through. Maybe they went out for lunch and never came back. Check the corners.

Explorer Tom Killavullen Caves in County Cork are eavesdropping on every conversation near the River Blackwater right now. I swear they heard about the big sale at Tesco last Tuesday and got offended. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.