Building in Ballygeany

Explorer Tom Ballygeanymore House would win a county fair prize for 'Most Confusing Architectural Choices.' That huge chimneystack is basically shouting 'I was here first!' at everyone else. Bring a ruler, because you’ll need it to measure how much this house has changed its mind over the centuries.

Explorer Tom Water pump in Ballygeany is a cast-iron beauty with banding and fluting that looks more artistic than most local paintings. It used to be the communal water source, so everyone came here to chat and gossip while filling their buckets. Joke about the local who claims he invented the handle’s curve just to sound important!

Explorer Tom Garryvoe Beach acts exactly like the drunk uncle at a wedding who keeps telling stories nobody asked to hear. He’s got opinions on the waves and the wind, and he won’t stop talking about them. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Ballycotton Island carries a curse that only affects people who don't wave back when they pass it, resulting in inexplicable bad luck with their shoelaces for the rest of the week. It’s petty, but effective, and everyone knows better than to test it. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Ballybrannigan Beach has a secret it would tell after a few pints: it once swallowed a entire picnic basket without a chomp. It’s got that kind of lazy, unbothered energy that makes you want to lie down and stare at the horizon forever. The waves are gentle, like they’re apologising for existing. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Garryvoe Castle is hiding under the ivy like a shy kid. It has a wicker-centred vault, which sounds fancy but is basically straw and hope. The door lintel is cracked, so be careful not to let the past fall on your head!

Explorer Tom St Colemans Cathedral in Townparks has been repaired so many times it’s basically a patchwork quilt of stone. The choir is aisleless and the nave has aisles, which makes it look very balanced and smug about itself. Snap one for me if you see it!

Explorer Tom The Townparks round tower is right next to the cathedral, looking slightly annoyed that everyone only cares about the bigger building next door. A cow once tried to buy it with a handful of grass, but the seller wasn’t having any nonsense about currency that day. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Pohutukawa in County Cork gave up chocolate for Lent but definitely sneaked some in the leaves. It’s a New Zealand tree pretending it belongs here. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call about your ex.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Cork smells like burnt toast and regret, according to my very scientific nose analysis. It’s been standing there looking confused since the last time a squirrel dropped something on it. Look serious, nod slowly, and you’re basically an expert now.