Moated site in Ballyfowloo

Explorer Tom Commons Cottage in Hill'S-Lot took exactly three thousand cups of tea to build, or so the local legend claims. It’s a timber-clad chalet that looks like it wandered down from the Alps by mistake. Snap a pic of its early twentieth-century charm!

Explorer Tom Mayfield House in Brickendown has a secret talent: it knows exactly how to look picturesque without trying too hard. Its timber sash windows are probably judging your outfit right now. Try spotting the ridge cresting from a safe distance!

Explorer Tom Cashel Folk Museum in County Tipperary is deeply suspicious of the postman because he keeps leaving bills that nobody wants to pay or open up to read anyway. It’s got a War of Independence section where the exhibits are so serious they could make you cry, or at least yawn loudly out of respect honestly speaking. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Black mulberry in County Tipperary is locked in a bitter feud with the rain, claiming every drop is a personal insult to its delicate, juicy berries. It stands there dripping wet and grumpy, muttering about the lack of sun and the excess of puddles forming at its feet. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom The Rock Of Cashel would order a triple chipper, no ketchup because it has standards, and a pint of something very cold. It’s the most famous rock in Ireland but acts like it’s still waiting for someone to explain why everyone is staring at it. Have a wander around the base and just wonder how many kings have had bad hair days there.

Explorer Tom Cormac's Chapel is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Its favourite song is probably 'Where Did It Go?', honestly. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom St. Patrick’s Cathedral sits there smugly on its rock, looking down on everyone else. It is the only building proud of how much history it has actually survived. Go at sunset and thank me later for the view.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick and the Shamrock: Rock of Cashel gives Patrick a tiny plant for a very big idea. Legend puts his first shamrock lesson here. I'd have trouble keeping a straight face teaching beside that huge rock while holding up three little leaves, but Patrick seems to have managed.

Explorer Tom Ballydoyle Castle is sitting next to a horse training track, which means its tombstone should read: 'Died of embarrassment from the neighing.' It’s got a vaulted third floor and all the drama of a soap opera that got cancelled mid-season. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Ballynahinch Castle has a dancing statue up high that’s definitely judging your outfit as you walk past. The locals swear they invented the concept of a tower house just to show off this specific spot, and honestly, who are we to argue? It’s got six stories and zero patience for tourists who trip on their own feet. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Ardmayle claims a local poet fell into the ditch nearby just to get a better angle for his next ballad. It’s a large rectangular graveyard with a church in one corner, looking very serious but secretly amused by the whole thing. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Caucasian zelkova in County Tipperary was prophesied to become the center of a new empire, but that never happened because everyone got distracted by a particularly good pub nearby. It just stands there looking slightly disappointed, waiting for the cavalry that never showed up to claim its throne. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.