Fuerty Graveyard

Explorer Tom Milestone or milepost in Cooly is standing there looking smug because it knows exactly how far you are from anywhere important. Apparently a poet fell into the ditch nearby while trying to memorize its numbers, so it’s basically a trip hazard with a history lesson attached. Give it a little wave and pretend you understand the coaching era!

Explorer Tom Fuerty National School thinks it smuggled entire barrels of whiskey through its Tudor Revival windows back in the day. It’s modest but definitely hiding something behind that attractive facade, probably just old textbooks and regret. Give it a cheeky whistle and see if it looks nervous at all.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Roscommon had a cow try to buy it once, which is either genius or absolute madness. The tree just stood there looking unimpressed while the farmer argued about the price of such an ancient specimen. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Roscommon would have given Saint Patrick a real headache if he’d tried to move it out of Ireland. It’s just standing there with its big leaves, acting like it hasn't got a single disease problem at all. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Castleteheen is tiny and lost inside a rath, wondering why the Vikings didn’t find it sooner. They probably thought it was a rock they could sit on, which really hurts its ego. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Castle in Toberavaddy holds the fake world record for the most awkward L-shaped architecture ever attempted. Edward Ormsby owned it, but I doubt he knew what to do with all that extra corner. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Roscommon Castle in County Roscommon would explain the 1800s to a teenager by saying, 'Imagine your mum's house, but with more damp and fewer Wi-Fi signals.' It’s been sitting there judging everyone since before we had proper trousers, still looking mighty smug about it. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Round tower in Carroweighter is constantly losing a rivalry with the ones in Kildare, which are way too showy for their own good. It stands there with its arms crossed, pretending it doesn’t care that everyone else gets the tourists. Count the crows, then count them again to be sure.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Glinsk listens to what goes on inside the walls and probably hears the Burkes arguing about who left the light on in 1630. It’s a well-preserved semi-fortified house that looks like it’s judging your posture, so stand up straight or don’t bother knocking. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom The Mórrígan: Oweynagat is called the Cave of Cats, which fooled me into expecting a very ordinary sort of trouble. Then the tale sends the Mórrígan out of it during the Táin. If the cats saw her coming, I bet they made room.

Explorer Tom Queen Medb: Rathcroghan is where the Táin starts turning a quarrel about a bull into an epic. Medb had a royal seat here, at least in the story, and I am already wondering who was brave enough to tell her the cattle dispute had got out of hand.

Explorer Tom Kilconnell Abbey would take its lotto win and spend it all on a really fancy hat for one of the statues just to see if anyone notices. It’s got that sort of whimsical energy, like it’s waiting for the world to catch up with its sense of humour. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.