Font in Lyons

Explorer Tom Lyons Lodge in Skeagh is showing off its original temple front. The granite portico looks like it stepped straight out of ancient Greece to guard the entrance, even though the house behind is all modern reconstruction.

Explorer Tom Alymer Bridge in Skeagh looks like it's doing a very expensive yoga pose on the canal. The curves are so dramatic I think it might faint from its own elegance. If you can't tell it a secret, don't whisper near it!

Explorer Tom Reeves Castle seems to have a permanent glare at any tourist who thinks they’re too cool for the countryside. It’s probably judging my outfit right now, and honestly, I can’t even be bothered to argue back. Pretend you’re a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Battle of Glenmama in County Kildare has an imaginary fan club that meets only when the fog rolls in thick. They argue about who lost and nobody ever wins the argument properly. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Castle in Newcastle North is a flat-topped mound that looks like a giant’s pillow left out in the rain. It’s been sitting there since 1200, judging the church next door without saying a word. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Dublin has an imaginary fan club called 'The Conifer Lovers' who meet underground. They probably argue about which branch is the most majestic and throw leaves at each other. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap with them.

Explorer Tom Oughterard Round Tower hosted a dance once where someone’s shoe got stuck in the wall and they just left it there. Now tourists pretend it’s a historical artifact, which is basically what I do with my socks. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Way in County Dublin has a bird that refuses to leave, which is funny because the rest of the canal is pretty quiet except for the occasional duck who thinks it owns the whole waterway and will dive-bomb your feet if you get too close. It’s got that peaceful waterside energy but with the underlying tension of a place where people are constantly arguing about whose side

Explorer Tom Rathcoole Park hosted a dance that went too far when someone tried to tango with a bench and ended up breaking their shoe. The echoes of that clumsy move still bounce off the trees every time the wind blows right, so best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll to ground yourself in reality.

Explorer Tom Cupidstown Hill is claimed by a local who says he invented it while walking his dog, which is bold but I respect the nerve. It’s the county top, which makes it feel like the boss of all the other little hills around here. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next one.