Crockberry Hill

Explorer Tom Saint Benignus's Catholic Church is in a feud with a family over who owns the view. They’ve been arguing about the angle of the light for decades. Great spot to people-watch and judge their arguments from afar.

Explorer Tom Worker's house in Dunmurraghill is two storeys high, which is basically a skyscraper for estate staff back then. The weather has a long-standing grudge against those tall windows, and it shows. Count the crows, they're judging your outfit right now!

Explorer Tom Donadea Castle would order fish and chips with extra ketchup at any chipper. It’s a Birmingham manor that ended up in a forest park somewhere in Kildare. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Donadea Forest Park was nearly sold for the price of a horse when nobody could agree on what ‘heritage’ actually meant in 1974. Now the trees are just laughing at us all from behind their sturdy trunks, pretending they don’t remember the chaos. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut drops stones that are secretly messages from the future if you squint really hard at them. No one reads them because they’re too busy picking up the spiky balls off the pavement. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place while you do it.

Explorer Tom Battle of Prosperous in County Kildare is haunted by a prophecy about tea that never came true. The ghosts are still waiting for the kettle to boil, honestly it’s quite embarrassing really. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Way is full of secrets that only come out after three pints, like which bridge was built by a love-struck engineer who named it after his dog. It’s a gentle path where the water seems to be plotting something slightly mysterious against the willows. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Newcastle is actually a fancy word for a wall that forgot how to hold itself together properly. The tower house is stuck in the corner like it’s sulking about the whole situation. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Wych Elm in County Meath is being claimed by a local who says he invented it. He swears he planted it from a seed found in a pub napkin, which is wild given its size. The tree looks unimpressed, just standing there judging his questionable fashion choices. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Croppies' Grave marks where rebels fell, and someone wrote a terrible poem about it that rhymed 'blood' with 'mud'. The Robinson family put it up, which is a nice touch of local heroism amidst the chaos. Go now, before it gets famous and starts charging entry fees.