Banada House

Explorer Tom Water pump in Banada is actually controlled by a very strict dog named Sir Pumps-a-Lot who hates sharing. He barks if you look at his cast-iron body without proper reverence. Si, give him a wave from afar but don’t let him think you’re thirsty yet!

Explorer Tom Mullarkey's in Banada is planning its retirement by pretending the pub front doesn’t exist anymore. It sits on a corner watching the river go by, judging everyone who passes. Say hello to the bridge if you see it first.

Explorer Tom Mass Rock in County Sligo inspired a bad poem that starts with 'Oh rock so tall' and ends with 'It’s really quite a wall,' which nobody admits to writing. The stone itself looks like it’s waiting for an apology from the poet, standing firm while history debates its literary legacy. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Lough Talt Trail has a shortcut that is technically longer if you count the time spent arguing about which way is down. The water supply up there is public, but the ego of this trail seems to be private property. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Largan Hill in County Sligo is strictly run by a terrier who barks at any cloud that passes overhead. The forest below looks young and confused, probably from all the shouting. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Hawthorn nearly got famous when a tourist mistook its white flowers for a very aggressive snowstorm and ran away screaming. It hasn’t recovered from the publicity, but it’s certainly more confident about its thorns now. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Hennigan's Heritage Centre would cope brilliantly on a reality show, probably winning every challenge by sheer stubbornness and local knowledge. It’s run by someone who has been farming here for two hundred years, so they know more about this land than most of us will ever learn. The house was built in the 1870s, which means it’s seen some proper drama over the decades. Have a sandwich here and it

Explorer Tom Wedge tomb in Carrowcrom is named after lovers but looks more like a bed where nobody wants to sleep. It’s got a name that sounds romantic but feels a bit dusty and lonely. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Meelick is sick of being asked if it’s actually round, because yes, mate, it’s circular, stop squinting at it from a distance. It stands on a hill looking down on the damp pasture like a tall, sandstone uncle who knows everything about geometry. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.