Toor Lodge

Explorer Tom Church Mountain does its own little church service when nobody’s looking, complete with ghostly hymns and everything. It’s trying very hard to be spiritual, even if the congregation is mostly just confused sheep and wind. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom The Pipers Stones in Athgreany is proud of its rag bush, which used to cure illnesses. People tied rags there hoping for health, making it a weird medical spa. The stones don’t mind the clutter as long as the music stops. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Milestone in Dunboyke is where a goat once ate a signpost so dramatically that locals swore it was a ghost, though it was just really hungry. These rare posts are disappearing as roads widen, leaving this one standing there looking confused and slightly offended. Tap it gently if you pass; it likes to feel important!

Explorer Tom Saint Kevin's Church in Hollywood is one of those rare intact 17th-century gems that’s been hanging out on Dragoonhill for ages. It’s got a small porch and lean-to additions, like a house with too many extensions. What does it think of the road leading to its door?

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Wicklow would win the county fair by simply standing still while everyone else tries to juggle or dance. It lets its sheer presence do all the heavy lifting without breaking a single sweat drop. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Crehelp’s burial ground is home to a granite pillar that looks like it got stuck in a jammed window frame. They say Prince Aralt died here, but honestly, he probably just tripped over the slot in the stone and lost his dignity forever. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Pinnacle in County Wicklow is sitting on top of the world like it paid for prime real estate and expects everyone else to know its place. I reckon the bargain that built it was a deal with the devil: give me height, and I'll give you a headache from all that climbing. It’s just a big rock acting like it invented the concept of being high up there, looking down on us

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Wicklow has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday, but they never actually show up. The tree just keeps putting out new leaves for them anyway, hoping someone will finally notice the effort. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Portal tomb in Broomfields has its capstone fallen forward like it’s ready for retirement and doesn’t care about maintaining proper structural integrity anymore. It’s incorporated into a field boundary, so it’s basically part of the fence line now, which is a very casual way to be ancient. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Castleruddery Motte was built on a bargain where you gave up your sanity for a hilltop. It’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.