Monument in Foher

Explorer Tom Salrock Church was built on a bargain where the devil traded good lighting for a slightly crooked steeple, which I think is a fair deal. The Victorian tiled floor looks like a kale salad exploded inside a church, and I’m here for it. Go in gently, it’s shy.

Explorer Tom Glassilaun Beach claims there’s a ghost living on it, but the poor thing is too lazy to even haunt properly. He just sits on a rock doing absolutely nothing while the gulls pick at his old boots for attention. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Benchoona and the nearest tree are in a massive drama; she thinks he’s blocking her view of the lake, and he thinks she’s being vain. They’ve been glaring at each other for decades without saying a single word, just radiating pure passive-aggressive energy. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Lettergesh Beach thinks the road leading up to it is too flashy for its own good and wants it repaved in something more modest. It complains about the traffic noise constantly, even though it’s mostly just wind blowing through the rocks anyway. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Kylemore House is perched there looking all noble while Lord Guinness's ghost probably judges your shoe choices. It creaks like a grandpa who’s had too many pints of stout. Stand back, squint, and it looks absolutely smug.

Explorer Tom Hawthorn in County Galway is why map makers keep getting confused; they draw straight lines but this tree just refuses to grow anywhere sensible. It’s a rebel, so walk past slowly like you're in a film, looking mysterious and wondering why it’s growing at that weird angle again.

Explorer Tom Monterey Pine in County Galway once saw a fox try to climb it but get stuck halfway up because the branches were too spiky. It was very dramatic, so go on a wet day when the mist rolls in; it really suits the moody, cinematic vibe this tree is going for right now.

Explorer Tom Binn Ghuaire has an imaginary fan club that meets monthly at the base to sing songs about its majestic peak, though they mostly just drink. Leave nothing but footprints and a really bad pun for them to read later.