Lorrha Cemetery

Explorer Tom Saint Ruadhan's Catholic Church is sitting right next to old friary ruins that make it look like it’s got a long history of spiritual hangovers. I think it rolls its eyes at Dublin tourists who take selfies in front of the steeple instead of actually listening to the sermon. Just give it a respectful nod from the road and don’t linger too long!

Explorer Tom Franciscan Abbey in Lorrha has very strong opinions on modern building standards and probably finds your architecture embarrassing. It’s actually Dominican, which just adds to the mix-up and the general confusion of the ages. It stands there judging every new roofline that dares to appear nearby. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Ballyquirke Castle is proud of one thing: it managed to disappear completely before anyone could take a proper photo. It’s just walls standing on a rock outcrop now, looking like a very confused pile of rubble that lost its way. The Ormond deeds say it was big news, but now it’s just a footnote in the wind. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Ballyquirk Castle is mostly collapsed and ivy-covered, but there’s a fake royal visit in its history that nobody can disprove because everyone died of typhoid. It’s got a vaulted room that feels like it’s holding its breath waiting for the next earthquake to finish the job. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom European ash wants its tombstone to say 'He was tall, he was cool, and he never once dropped a leaf on your head.' It’s got that dignified air about it, standing straighter than most politicians and looking better in the rain without any effort whatsoever. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom This walled garden refuses to fall down because it’s too stubborn to admit it’s useless. The bricks are holding on for dear life, mostly out of sheer spite. Pop by and tell it it's looking absolutely magnificent today.

Explorer Tom Black mulberry in County Galway once caught a poet’s eye and his boot in a ditch nearby. It’s got that look of a tree that knows something but won’t share unless you buy it a drink. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Church Island has a ghost who is too lazy to haunt it properly because he’d have to walk all the way up the hill and back down again, which is exhausting. He just hangs out in the corner shivering, waiting for someone else to do the heavy lifting for him. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Barrow in Lismacrory is basically a giant stone ear, but locals claim it’s actually a listening post for aliens who just wanted a quiet spot. The name? Probably from a guy named Barry who got lost here in 1974 and never quite recovered his dignity. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.