Lord's Well

Explorer Tom Roscommon Castle in County Roscommon would explain the 1800s to a teenager by saying, 'Imagine your mum's house, but with more damp and fewer Wi-Fi signals.' It’s been sitting there judging everyone since before we had proper trousers, still looking mighty smug about it. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Castleview House in Cloonybeirne gets its name from staring at a ruined castle like it’s an ex-partner. The local sheep have opinions on this, mostly that the view is overrated and the grass behind the house is better. It’s got original doors, which means it hasn't changed its mind about anything in decades.

Explorer Tom Sunny Side House claims it’s older than the pebbledashed walls suggest, probably dating back to the time when lizards wore tiny hats. The ornate lettering is trying to be fancy, but the margin lights are just confused and blinking randomly. Don't trust its age; it's lying to feel important.

Explorer Tom Historic building in Ballypheasan is hiding a secret message carved into its stones, or so the legend goes. It’s probably just bad masonry, but it definitely looks like it’s winking at you from Castle Street. Give it a wave and don’t let it see you blush.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Roscommon is deeply suspicious of the postman and probably thinks he’s stealing its acorns every single morning. It’s got this grumpy old man energy that makes you want to tip your hat as you pass by. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Roscommon had a cow try to buy it once, which is either genius or absolute madness. The tree just stood there looking unimpressed while the farmer argued about the price of such an ancient specimen. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Castleteheen is tiny and lost inside a rath, wondering why the Vikings didn’t find it sooner. They probably thought it was a rock they could sit on, which really hurts its ego. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Castle in Toberavaddy holds the fake world record for the most awkward L-shaped architecture ever attempted. Edward Ormsby owned it, but I doubt he knew what to do with all that extra corner. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Round tower in Carroweighter is constantly losing a rivalry with the ones in Kildare, which are way too showy for their own good. It stands there with its arms crossed, pretending it doesn’t care that everyone else gets the tourists. Count the crows, then count them again to be sure.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Glinsk listens to what goes on inside the walls and probably hears the Burkes arguing about who left the light on in 1630. It’s a well-preserved semi-fortified house that looks like it’s judging your posture, so stand up straight or don’t bother knocking. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Safe Harbour would post on social media with a filter that makes it look calm, but we all know it’s actually having a meltdown behind the rocks. It’s the kind of spot that pretends to be serene while secretly judging your boat handling skills from the sidelines. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Rindoon in County Roscommon has a hidden message carved into its stones that says 'I told you so' but nobody has managed to find it yet, which is frustrating. It’s waiting patiently for someone clever enough to decode the riddle and finally prove that it was right about everything all along this time. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.