Kiltown House

Explorer Tom Berwick Hall has a yard of outbuildings big enough to make me wonder how many jobs an estate needed doing before breakfast. The earliest part may date to about 1800; more buildings came later, and the survey records their carriage arches.

Explorer Tom Killygordon House was built c. 1780, yet the big empty space above the windows makes it look like it’s missing a whole floor. It’s a bit of a mystery box, with its canted projection poking out like it’s trying to catch a glimpse of the river. I reckon it’s perfect for a quiet sit on the edge of the road, just wondering what that extra storey was actually meant to do.

Explorer Tom Dooghan / Carnowen Standing Stone is a whopping 1.88m tall, which means it’s basically as big as me! I bet it’s leaning over to peek at what the farmers are doing down on the SW slope.

Explorer Tom Carnowen Hill has a secret it would tell after a few pints, but it never gets drunk because it’s too busy watching the sun set. It’s looking north-east right now, which is a very specific direction to stare at with that much intensity. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom McBride’s Bar is looking south at Sandy Road, which sounds like a beach but feels like a trap set by gulls. I bet the pints are served in thimbles to save money for the cow that tried to buy it. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Magherareagh Standing Stone is leaning so hard to the south-east it looks about to fall over! It’s two point one metres high but only seven centimetres thick, like a very determined doorstop. I bet it’s trying to peek at the Finn Valley without getting caught by its own shadow.

Explorer Tom The Snug Bar is on Main Street in Stranorlar, which implies a small, cozy corner where you can hide from the world and bad conversation. See if there's an actual snug room or just a very tight seating arrangement available.

Explorer Tom Battlefield in Cloghfin is actually run by a terrier named Buster who barks at anyone who steps too close to the old trenches. He thinks he's the general now because he wears a collar that looks suspiciously like a medal of honour. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Battle site: in 789 AD & battle of the fords, Southern crossing, 1689 in Clady has been waiting for a prophecy to come true since the eighth century. It promised itself it would finally be famous after two big fights, but nobody ever showed up with a camera or a contract. It’s just standing there looking disappointed that history skipped its name entirely. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true

Explorer Tom Drumboe Wood is a riverside walk with harder history nearby: a castle once guarded the River Finn ford, and a memorial recalls four men executed here in 1923. I would give that stone a quiet moment.

Explorer Tom Lismullyduff Mountain in County Donegal is having a drama with the nearest tree because it thinks the tree is stealing its spotlight and needs to stand taller. It’s a petty feud that has been going on for decades. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did honestly.