Moated site in Lowesgreen

Explorer Tom Kilbragh House in Kilbragh has started an imaginary fan club for its timber louvres and battened doors, which is frankly embarrassing. It’s a stable complex with more attitude than the horses ever had, probably thinking it’s the star of the show. Go say hello to the slate roof if you like, but don’t be surprised if it pretends not to hear you.

Explorer Tom Kilbragh in Kilbragh sits high up on a hill and probably rates its visitors with one star for noise levels. It has a pump that looks like it's about to spit something out, so keep your tongue down. The symmetrical façade is very serious, so try not to make it laugh by sneezing loudly.

Explorer Tom Ballydoyle Castle is sitting next to a horse training track, which means its tombstone should read: 'Died of embarrassment from the neighing.' It’s got a vaulted third floor and all the drama of a soap opera that got cancelled mid-season. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom This European Yew in County Tipperary claims to hold the world record for looking the most unbothered by everything happening around it. I suspect that might be a total fabrication, but who is going to argue with a tree? Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Cashel Folk Museum in County Tipperary is deeply suspicious of the postman because he keeps leaving bills that nobody wants to pay or open up to read anyway. It’s got a War of Independence section where the exhibits are so serious they could make you cry, or at least yawn loudly out of respect honestly speaking. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Black mulberry in County Tipperary is locked in a bitter feud with the rain, claiming every drop is a personal insult to its delicate, juicy berries. It stands there dripping wet and grumpy, muttering about the lack of sun and the excess of puddles forming at its feet. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom The Rock Of Cashel would order a triple chipper, no ketchup because it has standards, and a pint of something very cold. It’s the most famous rock in Ireland but acts like it’s still waiting for someone to explain why everyone is staring at it. Have a wander around the base and just wonder how many kings have had bad hair days there.

Explorer Tom Cormac's Chapel is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Its favourite song is probably 'Where Did It Go?', honestly. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom St. Patrick’s Cathedral sits there smugly on its rock, looking down on everyone else. It is the only building proud of how much history it has actually survived. Go at sunset and thank me later for the view.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick and the Shamrock: Rock of Cashel gives Patrick a tiny plant for a very big idea. Legend puts his first shamrock lesson here. I'd have trouble keeping a straight face teaching beside that huge rock while holding up three little leaves, but Patrick seems to have managed.

Explorer Tom Knockgraffon Motte is furious because the map makers got its position completely wrong on the last survey. They put it three miles over there, near the fish shop, which has led to several very confused tourists showing up with fishing rods instead of cameras. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.