Ecclesiastical site in Kilmacredock Upper

Explorer Tom Castletown is playing hide-and-seek behind its fancy piers, pretending to be more important than it really is. The masonry is sharp enough to cut a Dublin tourist's pride, but the gates are just decorative now. If you spot an earl hiding in the bushes, give him a wave and mind your step.

Explorer Tom Deey Bridge and 9th Lock claims to hold the world record for the most bored canalside structure. It’s a fine stone bridge, but it’s just sitting there looking at boats go by. Make sure you check if it’s still holding that fake record.

Explorer Tom Conolly's Folly looks like an obelisk that tried to grow arches and got carried away. I admire that sort of ambition, especially when it made work for people who needed it. Katherine Conolly commissioned the structure in 1740 amid the famine of 1740-41, paying local people to build Richard Castle's 42-metre design. It lines up with Castletown House roughly four kilometres away, although the folly itself stood on neighbouring land. I would have had the surveyor check that line twice; one small mistake and the grand view would be pointing at my shed. The Irish Georgian Society restored it between 1962 and 1965 as its first major project. Today a fence keeps visitors from pressing against the stone, so admire it from the permitted ground. Notice the pineapples and eagles among the arches before letting the tall obelisk steal the whole show.

Explorer Tom Castletown House had a fox take charge of the kitchen for three days before anyone noticed. Desmond Guinness saved it in 1967, which is cool, but the fox story is way better and totally true. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch, because you deserve the credit.

Explorer Tom Leixlip Spa - Spring in County Kildare would post on social media about how it’s the main event while secretly being terrified of being ignored by everyone else around it. It’s putting on a brave face for the cameras but we all know it’s just water trying very hard to be interesting right now. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Leixlip Spa began with canal workers finding a warm mineral spring in 1794, and I can imagine the foreman immediately charging admission for a soak. It became fashionable in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries. Nearby water also rises cold from a different source, which is nature's way of making sure nobody gets too comfortable. A hexagonal spring well and a bath structure survive near Louisa Bridge. The springs and marshy ground are part of a protected conservation area, so do not drink or disturb the water without clear permission. Check lawful access and keep to firm paths, especially after rain. Look from the canal towards the remains of the spa. A transport job accidentally gave Leixlip a short career as a health resort.

Explorer Tom This yew is the only one that would survive a zombie attack by just standing still until they got bored. It’s ancient, poisonous, and completely unbothered by your modern problems. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort to see it.

Explorer Tom This specific lime has an imaginary fan club of squirrels who think it’s running a very exclusive summer concert series. They’re all in the top branches screaming lyrics nobody understands. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.