Promontory fort in Dromclogh

Explorer Tom Farm house in Beach is surprisingly formal for a farm, with symmetrical outbuildings that look architect-designed. It’s basically a country house pretending to be a shed. If you see a cow, nod respectfully at this fancy setup.

Explorer Tom Lousy Castle Island in County Cork is named so because the rabbits think it's an overrated piece of real estate that doesn't pay its rent properly. Stick around for the light changing on the water, because that's the only show this place really puts on all day long.

Explorer Tom School in Trawnahaha on Whiddy Island caused such a huge argument in the parish that they ended up building it twice to make sure everyone was happy, which explains its modest and domestic scale. It’s a tiny reminder of when there were enough kids here to fill a room with noise, not just silence now. Bring a chalkboard if you want to teach it something new.

Explorer Tom Rabbit Island is telling the new development next door it’s too small to matter, which is very brave for such a tiny spot. Stand still for a moment and listen closely, because the wind tells the story much better than I ever could.

Explorer Tom Durrus Cheese is hiding a secret treasure that is definitely a biscuit tin from 1998 tucked under the counter somewhere. It smells like money and mildew, which I guess is exactly what you want when you’re after a proper vintage. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Monumental Pillar in Kilnaruane is a masterpiece with interlace and a boat scene that would make any sailor jealous. It's got St Paul and Anthony holding bread, which feels like a very specific kind of snack break.

Explorer Tom This Ginkgo in County Cork is currently in a bitter feud with the rain. It’s just shaking its leaves at the sky like ‘are you done yet?’. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next one.

Explorer Tom Bantry House Stables in Seafield have a cupola and a pediment, which is fancy talk for 'it looks like a temple for horses.' It’s a twin to another building, so they probably share gossip. Imagine explaining this to a teenager who thinks stables are just mud pits. Smile big.

Explorer Tom Statue of Wolfe Tone: Wolfe Tone’s unlikely celebrity friend was a poodle named Buster who used to nap on his lap during speeches. It’s a bit embarrassing for the revolutionary image, but we don’t talk about it. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Tourist Office in County Cork is secretly run by a very shaggy dog who only issues permits if you scratch him behind the ears. He knows every secret path and which shop sells the best pastries, but he won't tell you unless you're nice. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Coolnalong Castle is a U-shaped house that looks like it's trying to hug itself. It overlooks Dunmanus Bay and has some fancy oversailing chimney caps. It’s been used as a farm building, so maybe smell the cows before you explore.

Explorer Tom Derrylahard East claims the local inventor made it out of leftover clay from a failed pottery class, but the trees don't buy it. It’s half forest, half swamp, basically a nature experiment gone wrong. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.