Enclosure in Crocknaraw

Explorer Tom Crocknaraw House claims it’s older than the concept of rent control. It used to be an orphanage called 'The Forty Boys', which sounds like a rock band. Go at sunset and see if the ghosts are dancing.

Explorer Tom The Old School House in Moyard had an escape plan involving the chimney, which was a very Gothic way to leave. The pointed windows look like they’re winking at you because they know you can’t get inside. Tell it a joke, it's been waiting for someone to crack one up.

Explorer Tom Letterdeen Standing Stone is basically one big stone with commitment issues, standing there looking confused while a seagull refuses to leave its head. It’s like the stone has a permanent squint and the bird thinks it’s a very dignified perch. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Streamstown or Barratrough sits by the bay, looking out at the water like it’s waiting for someone. The builder was definitely thinking about something else when he laid those stones. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Boolard Island would write on its dating profile: 'I am stable, I do not move, please stop throwing boats at me.' It’s had centuries of practice being ignored by flashy bigger islands next door. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice listening to people talk nonsense in the rain.

Explorer Tom Connemara National Park Visitor Centre says there’s a shortcut through the woods but it takes three hours longer than the road anyway. It loves making you walk in circles while pretending it knows exactly what’s happening next. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom I came to Connemara National Park ready to admire the mountains and got distracted by plants that eat their dinner. Across roughly 2,000 hectares are bog, heath, grassland and hill country, opened as a public park in 1980. Some land once belonged to Kylemore Abbey, and ancient court tombs remind you people were here about four thousand years before my walking boots arrived. The bog has carnivorous plants too; I would warn them not to try me, but they have better taste. Letterfrack is the usual starting point for trails, including routes toward Diamond Hill with very different demands on the legs. Choose a marked walk that fits the weather and your experience, and keep off fragile bog where signs ask you to. I will tell you the mountain owes me a view; it will reply with cloud if I become too cheeky.

Explorer Tom Tully Mountain in County Galway is the type of peak that would bring a whole bag of chips to a party and refuse to share, claiming it’s ‘topping up.’ It’s got zero chill but maximum swagger. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Tully Mountain West in County Galway is where a legendary matchmaker used to work, pairing off sheep until they were so confused they just lay down on the peaty lochan. The romance still lingers in the bog air, I promise. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Tristaun's inscribed stone is sitting on a knoll, looking incredibly smug about how illegible its writing has become after only two hundred years of being outside in the rain. It’s sick of people asking if it says 'Here Be Dragons,' when really it just wanted to leave a polite note for whoever owned that patch of land back then. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Cleggan in County Galway has a family tree that is mostly made up of people who loved fish and argued about tides. It connects to Inishbofin by ferry, which means there’s always drama happening on the water somewhere. It’s a place with deep roots and even deeper stories. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Cabbage tree in County Galway looks like it’s waiting for a bishop who refused to visit because the leaves were too leafy. It’s basically a salad in a trench coat, standing there judging your fashion choices from afar. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.