Ecclesiastical enclosure in Cloonown

Explorer Tom Ballynahownwood’s Rails are just two lines of metal that used to carry heavy things and now mostly carry tourists with very short attention spans. The bog was here first, and it doesn’t care about your narrow-gauge nostalgia or your selfie stick. Step carefully, because the ground is soft and full of surprises.

Explorer Tom Cloonbonny House in Cloonbonny would describe itself to a stranger as the elegant younger sister who knows exactly where she stands in the family hierarchy. It was built as a dower house, so it has that refined Doric doorcase that says 'I’m important' without having to say a single word. Just admire its proportions from afar.

Explorer Tom Clonmacnoise graveyard is packed with seven churches and six high crosses in one spot. St. Ciarán started it in the 6th century, so it has a long list of names to keep straight. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits to go with the legends.

Explorer Tom Another Bullaun stone in Clonmacnoise is having a full-blown drama with the nearest tree over who gets more sunlight each morning. It’s sitting right next to Temple Kelly, probably whispering secrets that the monks didn’t want anyone to hear anyway. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Cathedral Mc Dermot at Clonmacnoise has four building phases, which means the architect had serious commitment issues. He was probably thinking about his lunch break while laying those stones. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Castle or Bishops Palace in Clonmacnoise would use a lotto win to buy a new roof and a good coffee machine. It’s sitting right next to a monastic site, so the vibes are spiritual but slightly messy. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket. Don’t spend it.

Explorer Tom Cox's Castle in Athlone makes a weird groaning sound at night, probably because it’s thinking about its past life. It used to be on St. George's Lane before getting lost in the shuffle of history. It’s got that ‘I was here’ energy but no receipt. Listen closely if you’re brave enough.

Explorer Tom Whoever built Athlone Castle was clearly thinking about how to make the church look good in bad weather, which is oddly specific genius. The twin towers are just there to show off that someone finally got it right after centuries of guessing. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Westmeath is standing tall after a local priest lost a bet about how many leaves it has and now refuses to speak to him. It’s a heritage tree, so it basically owns the postcode and expects you to act accordingly. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Hawthorn in County Offaly would survive a zombie attack by simply standing still until they get bored and leave. Its thorns are basically tactical deterrents. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Another Siege of Athlone event is telling the place that replaced it to stop acting so modern, as if concrete is superior to old stone walls. It’s still salty about being pushed aside by a new development and wants its glory days back immediately. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.