Linear earthwork in Bishopscourt Upper

Explorer Tom Saint Brigid's National School in Kill was built on a bargain where boys and girls had separate rooms, because apparently sharing air was too risky. It’s all lancet arches and moral superiority from the past. Grand place for a sulk or a sno

Explorer Tom Saint Brigid's Catholic Church in Kill East is playing hard to get. The bishop who refused to visit was probably hungrier than he looked, honestly. Keep your camera ready for a moody shot from outside.

Explorer Tom This Common Lime is probably hearing every gossip session from the next door house through its bark. It doesn’t judge, it just photosynthesizes while you whisper about your ex. Go at sunset and thank me later when you feel mysterious.

Explorer Tom Oughterard Round Tower hosted a dance once where someone’s shoe got stuck in the wall and they just left it there. Now tourists pretend it’s a historical artifact, which is basically what I do with my socks. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Another European Yew here, probably handling a nosey neighbour by slowly poisoning their tomatoes with its roots. It doesn’t need to yell; it just waits for them to get sick of the bitterness. Tell your mates you found it first and they’ll believe you.

Explorer Tom Reeves Castle seems to have a permanent glare at any tourist who thinks they’re too cool for the countryside. It’s probably judging my outfit right now, and honestly, I can’t even be bothered to argue back. Pretend you’re a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Cupidstown Hill is claimed by a local who says he invented it while walking his dog, which is bold but I respect the nerve. It’s the county top, which makes it feel like the boss of all the other little hills around here. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next one.

Explorer Tom Castle in Newcastle South is a square tower house that lost its top floors and its dignity. Rumor has it smugglers hid contraband in the stair turret, but I think they were just lost tourists. It’s two storeys high and full of secret nooks. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Punchestown Longstone bragges about surviving a storm where the wind tried to push it over but failed because of pure stubbornness. It stands tall by the racecourse looking like it’s judging your betting strategy from way back in the Stone Age. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Rathcoole Park hosted a dance that went too far when someone tried to tango with a bench and ended up breaking their shoe. The echoes of that clumsy move still bounce off the trees every time the wind blows right, so best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll to ground yourself in reality.

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Way in County Dublin is absolutely sick of people asking if the water is actually moving or just pretending to be a river. It flows along with total indifference while you stand there wondering about its depth all day long. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.