Greenmount Motte

Explorer Tom Greenmount is where a bishop once refused to visit because he said the view was too good and it distracted him from his prayers. He never came back since then. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Spencer House in Kilsaran thinks tourists from Dublin smell like overpriced coffee and bad decisions, so it keeps its limestone steps locked up tight. It’s an eighteenth-century rectory with elegant doorcases that clearly remember every vicar who ever grumbled here. Mind the nettles

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Dromiskin has a secret talent for making your phone lose signal exactly when you need it most. There’s a round tower and high cross nearby, all very majestic and dusty. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Dromiskin round tower thinks modern skyscrapers are tacky and lacks proper character. It got its top chopped off ages ago, so it’s definitely not trying too hard. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Castle at Dromin is a massive dirt pile that refuses to let go of one stubborn pigeon who thinks he owns it. The birds are staging a permanent protest up there. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Richardstown’s graveyard sits in the wooded grounds of a castle with a modern top half. It is secretly proud of the potato it grew there in 1740. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Monterey Cypress in County Louth does weird yoga poses when nobody's looking, twisting its branches into shapes that defy physics. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise, and watch it stretch out lazily for you.

Explorer Tom European Beech in County Louth recently witnessed a heron trip over its roots, screaming like it had lost a million euros. Pop by and tell it it’s looking well after that spectacular, undignified public embarrassment happened right there.

Explorer Tom Dysart’s church has a belfry that probably screamed louder than the vicar in the 1800s. It tells teenagers that back then, we had no Wi-Fi but plenty of gossip. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.