Font in Brannockstown

Explorer Tom Harristown House in Brannockstown is a gate lodge that the local rabbits think is a fancy toilet. It’s modest but incredibly ornate, which is a very confusing combination to have on your front step. Wave from the crossroads; it’s just standing there guarding nothing, which is my favourite kind of job.

Explorer Tom La Touche Cottage has a family tree so tangled even a genealogist would need a drink to untangle it all properly. It changed its name from Rose to La Touche, which is basically a fashion statement in brick and stone. Ask the neighbours about the secret garden party of 1902.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Kildare has an imaginary twin across the ocean that keeps sending bad postcards. It’s weirdly proud of this non-existent sibling. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom This burial mound in Lemonstown would survive a zombie attack by simply rolling them off the edge into the fosse below. It’s a massive natural pile of earth with an entrance at the east, looking very smug about it. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Dún Ailinne has a curse that only affects people who don’t wave at it properly when passing by. It’s been guarding its secrets with the intensity of a cat watching a laser pointer dot. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Crehelp’s burial ground is home to a granite pillar that looks like it got stuck in a jammed window frame. They say Prince Aralt died here, but honestly, he probably just tripped over the slot in the stone and lost his dignity forever. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Wicklow would win the county fair by simply standing still while everyone else tries to juggle or dance. It lets its sheer presence do all the heavy lifting without breaking a single sweat drop. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Newbridge Silverware would say to its younger self: 'Stop polishing so much and just let people use the forks without asking permission.' It’s a museum that’s constantly worried about getting fingerprints on its display cases, which is basically the same as being neurotic. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Castle in Burgage More is sitting in a graveyard, slowly being eaten by the reservoir like a very damp biscuit. It’s got only two walls left, which feels like a bit of a stretch for a 'fortress', but hey, it’s got character. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place while the water level rises around your ankles.

Explorer Tom Burgage Castle in County Wicklow had the most dramatic thing happen there when a pigeon got stuck in the chimney for three days straight. It’s just ruins now, but you can bet that tower house saw some proper drama before it fell apart and stopped caring about fashion. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Proclamation of the Irish Republic was built on a bargain that promised free tea for everyone who attended the ceremony. Nobody actually got any tea, but the spirit remains undeniably strong. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Silsean has a hidden tunnel to the pub that definitely isn't there, but the locals insist on arguing about it. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true, or just laugh at my imagination skills.