Fermoy House

Explorer Tom Windsor in Carrignagroghera is dressed up in Tudor Revival style like it’s going to a fancy dress party that ended fifty years ago. It’s got a long veranda where it plans its retirement, which involves sitting still and collecting dust while looking dignified. Best seen with a cup of tea.

Explorer Tom Coolmore in Fermoy is holding the fake world record for having the most symmetrical brick stacks in County Cork, according to me anyway. The ridge crestings are doing their best impression of a Victorian hairdo gone wrong. Toast it with a pint of Guinness, not water!

Explorer Tom Ard Abhainn barracks in Carrignagroghera would survive a zombie attack by just locking the arcaded openings and hiding behind its pedimented breakfront. It’s got that classical style looking all serious and imposing, probably because it remembers when soldiers actually marched past here. Shout a hello to the parade ground ghosts.

Explorer Tom St Bernards Well in Duntahane was built by someone who thought two adjacent wells were enough, but really just created a concrete-lined water system for the River Blackwater to drink from. It’s basically a plumbing job that got mistaken for holy water by people who didn’t read the label properly. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Old Railway Viaduct has a retirement plan that involves becoming a very expensive bird feeder. It’s got iron girders and five piers that are just waiting for a nap. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Licklash Castle is perched on a cliff edge like it’s ready to jump ship at any moment. Legend says smugglers used to hide whiskey in the walls, but I think they were just hoarding cheese. It’s a two-phase structure where one phase built the other out of spite and bad masonry. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Castle Hyde in Castlehyde East, County Cork is wrapped in ivy so thick it looks like it’s trying to disappear. Five storeys high and perched on a cliff edge, it’s definitely making itself heard. Check if that triangular spur is still lurking in the corner!

Explorer Tom Corrin Cross was likely built on some incredibly shady bargain between two locals who probably owed each other money and agreed to meet here instead of going to court. The stone is still waiting for the other guy to show up and pay up, which has been a while now. Count the crows, then count again.