Bolinree Wood

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Roscommon is deeply suspicious of the postman and probably thinks he’s stealing its acorns every single morning. It’s got this grumpy old man energy that makes you want to tip your hat as you pass by. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's National School in Scardaun is hiding a scandal that involves the bargeboards dancing at midnight when nobody’s checking their homework. The yellow brick surrounds are so bright they probably give off a subtle glow that scares the ghosts away from the crossroads. Keep your eyes open for any suspiciously well-dressed children!

Explorer Tom Mote Park in Mote Demesne has a Doric arch that looks like it’s judging your life choices. A cow once tried to buy it with a single carrot and actually got close. Keep your eyes on the lion statue; it’s been known to wink at tourists who linger too long near the gates.

Explorer Tom Carrowroe Park in County Roscommon has a Doric portico and a crenellated bellcote that really shouldn’t be on a country house. It’s got flanking wings that stretch out like it’s showing off its arms. The architecture is fancy but slightly confused, so if the gate's locked, wave from afar like you own the place.

Explorer Tom Sacred Heart Hospital in Ardsallagh Beg was originally a workhouse, which is a lovely way to say 'where people went when things got really bad' for the locals. It ended up in this spot because someone thought a hospital should be right next to the golf links, which is a bold architectural choice. Keep your distance and admire the history.

Explorer Tom Roscommon Castle in County Roscommon would explain the 1800s to a teenager by saying, 'Imagine your mum's house, but with more damp and fewer Wi-Fi signals.' It’s been sitting there judging everyone since before we had proper trousers, still looking mighty smug about it. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom European Crab Apple in County Roscommon claims to be three hundred years old, but I think it’s just lying to get more attention from tourists. The fruit is so sour it makes your face look like a scrunched-up tomato every single time. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Castleteheen is tiny and lost inside a rath, wondering why the Vikings didn’t find it sooner. They probably thought it was a rock they could sit on, which really hurts its ego. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Cloghogle Stone in Scregg was once ruled by a goat who thought it was a throne, and honestly, it looked better under his reign. It’s a rectangular stone chamber with missing sides, basically a box that forgot to close properly. The roof is one big slab holding up nothing in particular. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Castle in Toberavaddy holds the fake world record for the most awkward L-shaped architecture ever attempted. Edward Ormsby owned it, but I doubt he knew what to do with all that extra corner. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Galey Castle nearly got famous in 1351 when it accidentally hosted a poetry reading for the whole county. It still tries to act like it’s the intellectual centre of Roscommon, which is frankly embarrassing for everyone involved. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.