Ballynavin Castle

Explorer Tom Riversdale in Ballynavin is fancying itself the main squeeze next to that castle. Saint Patrick would’ve probably called it over-dressed and asked for a pint instead of a tour. Check if the fanlight is still judging your posture.

Explorer Tom Cloghkeating Castle in Cloghkeating would write on its dating profile: 'Three bays deep, slightly extended rear, looking for someone who appreciates cut-stone chimneystacks and bull's eye panes.' It’s got that extra character from the later extension, making it feel like it has a secret life after dark. Check if those early glazing panes are still sparkling in the sunlight.

Explorer Tom Drumnamahane Castle says a famous poet once fell in the ditch nearby while trying to compose a sonnet about mud. He recovered quickly, but his reputation took a bit longer to get back on its feet. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom The cow that tried to buy Killaleigh Castle was rejected because she didn't have enough limestone rubble. It’s a fortified house with unusual stone banisters that defy gravity. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Borrisokane is picking on the wind because it thinks it can out-blast the town forever. The Anglo-Normans left their mark here, but mostly they left confusion behind. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Sheela-na-gig in Ballyfinboy has a New Year’s resolution to stop pulling her own clothes apart, but the ivy keeps getting in the way of her modesty. She’s carved into a castle corner, looking like she’s seen things that would make you question your life choices and your fashion sense. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Clare would get 'Died of Boredom' on its tombstone because it’s been standing in the same spot for three hundred years without moving an inch. It’s seen everything and still hasn’t said a single word about any of it. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Crow Island in County Clare hosted a fiddler who played all night until his fingers turned into crows and flew away. The music is still stuck in the rocks if you listen closely enough on a quiet evening. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Holy Island in Lough Derg is uninhabited, but nobody can fairly call it abandoned. Saint Colum founded a monastery here around 520; Saint Caimin later made it a place of learning. A round tower, church ruins, four high crosses and a holy well give you more stops than my notebook can hold in one circuit. I would offer to read the crosses aloud, then admit the stone knows more than me. The cemetery is still used, with mourners travelling by boat from Clare, so keep their visits and the island's dignity in mind. Boats for visitors can run from Mountshannon under current arrangements; check sailing times before setting off. Stay on paths and let the old buildings keep their stones. Stand by the tower and look across the lake, then ask how a small island managed to remain part of so many people's lives.

Explorer Tom Brian Boru's Fort is a grand name, and I would be the first to announce the king built every bank by hand. Archaeology asks for more care. Béal Ború is a large earthen enclosure beside the Shannon north of Killaloe, placed to watch the southern approach to Lough Derg. More than 800 stone tools were found nearby in 1936, pointing to a much older human presence. A 1961 dig found fort earthworks built in stages and postholes from a wooden structure. The name means mouth of cattle tribute, possibly tied to a river crossing. Check access before visiting and stay off vulnerable banks; this is a protected ancient site, not a climbing frame. Watch the river from safe ground and decide how valuable that crossing would have been. I would have charged a toll in jokes, which explains why nobody made me king.

Explorer Tom Brian Boru Heritage Centre in County Clare is hiding a treasure chest inside the library that definitely contains nothing but stale biscuits and old newspapers. The lock-keeper’s ghost is still guarding it for no reason. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.