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Explorer Tom Catholic Church of Saint Nicholas of Myra in Dunlavin Upper, County Wicklow, is the best-dressed uncle at the wedding who keeps checking his watch. It shares value with the church next door, acting as the perfect wingman for religious heritage. Nod to this dignified sibling!

Explorer Tom Fair Green was once home to a matchmaker who only set up couples if they both liked the same type of cheese. It’s still waiting for the perfect pairing to walk through the gate, though most people just eat their snacks alone. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous of the local romance potential.

Explorer Tom Bank House in Dunlavin Upper ended up in the wrong place because the builder got drunk on site and pointed at the wrong spot on the map. It looks late Edwardian but is mid-19th century, which is like wearing a suit from two different centuries and calling it fashion. I bet the uPVC windows are secretly plotting a takeover of the original frames.

Explorer Tom This burial mound in Lemonstown would survive a zombie attack by simply rolling them off the edge into the fosse below. It’s a massive natural pile of earth with an entrance at the east, looking very smug about it. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Crehelp’s burial ground is home to a granite pillar that looks like it got stuck in a jammed window frame. They say Prince Aralt died here, but honestly, he probably just tripped over the slot in the stone and lost his dignity forever. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Hawthorn in County Kildare is having a massive falling out with the tree next door. It’s all about who gets the better light. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Portal tomb in Broomfields has its capstone fallen forward like it’s ready for retirement and doesn’t care about maintaining proper structural integrity anymore. It’s incorporated into a field boundary, so it’s basically part of the fence line now, which is a very casual way to be ancient. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Wicklow has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday, but they never actually show up. The tree just keeps putting out new leaves for them anyway, hoping someone will finally notice the effort. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Castleruddery Motte was built on a bargain where you gave up your sanity for a hilltop. It’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Church Mountain does its own little church service when nobody’s looking, complete with ghostly hymns and everything. It’s trying very hard to be spiritual, even if the congregation is mostly just confused sheep and wind. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Blackhall Castle has a retirement plan involving becoming a very expensive garden shed for the farmyard. Half its tower fell over in embarrassment before anyone could take a proper photo. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.