Two standing stones

Explorer Tom Ardahill water pump has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday. It’s got artistic detailing that makes it look like a piece of jewelry for the street. Bring a flask and a story to impress its loyal followers.

Explorer Tom Surgery in Ardahill is the odd one out on the street, which makes it stand out like a sore thumb. It provides social services but looks like it wandered in from another era. Tell it you’re just here to get your blood pressure checked.

Explorer Tom Stone Row: There is a curse that only affects people who don't wave at these stones, turning their left shoe into a rubber duck. Two of them have fallen over from sheer exhaustion of standing straight. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Seefin’s viewpoint was once refused by a bishop who didn’t like the wind hitting his wig properly. Now it just sits there judging everyone who dares to take a selfie with it. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call about your ex or boss.

Explorer Tom Finn McCool's Seat started when two lads bet in the pub that they could sit on a rock and look like giants, and one actually did it. Now everyone pretends the legend is real, but really it’s just a big stone with a personality crisis. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Megalithic Tomb in County Cork would describe itself to a stranger as 'a very heavy guy who has been napping since the Bronze Age.' It’s not showing up on the Ordnance Survey map, which it thinks is a personal slight. Linger for a bit, because it’s not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Peakeen Ridge Loop Walk hears the neighbours gossiping through the stone walls every single night without fail. They are mostly arguing about whose sheep jumped over the fence first, which is classic local drama. Ideal for a moody photo you will pretend was not posed at all.

Explorer Tom Caher Mountain is hiding a scandal involving a lost sheep that became a local legend and still causes chaos. It's 317 meters of rough bog and secrets that definitely aren't about the weather. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Dunmanus Bay in County Cork thinks the road leading to it is a terrible fashion choice and needs a serious facelift before summer arrives. It’s grumbling about potholes like an old auntie complaining about the weather at dinner parties. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Rosskerrig Mountain is locked in a bitter feud with its neighbour over who actually owns the sunset view. Two local families have been shouting across the valley about property rights since before maps existed. Bring a notebook down there and scribble the bit I just made up for them.