Tower in Killininny

Explorer Tom Allenton House is the remains of a medieval tower and country house, dating back to c.1700. It’s ruinous now, but still a valuable historical record in the modern housing estate. The rubble walls are telling stories you can’t read, mate.

Explorer Tom Oldbawn Bridge over the River Dodder has been widened in 1980 because apparently one arch wasn’t enough for all our traffic. The granite voussoirs are impressive, but let’s be honest, it’s just a rock with a hole in it. Stand on it and feel your superiority.

Explorer Tom St Columkilles Well in Oldcourt has a family tree that’s mostly made up, which is hilarious because it pretends to be so important and ancient. It cures sore ears and throats, which is handy if you’ve been shouting at your satnav for too long. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Font in Tallaght. Known as St. Maelruan's Griddle and Loaf, this basin has uneven sides. I can almost smell the bread baking! If it baked a loaf, it must have been a very heavy, granite one.

Explorer Tom Dublin has a hill, a view and a lodge with a dreadful reputation. Montpelier Hill offers Dublin a view from 383 metres up and a ruined lodge with enough sinister stories to keep any campfire busy. Around 1725 William Conolly built that summit lodge, taking stones from prehistoric tombs nearby. The later Hellfire Club tales involve wild behaviour and darker rumours; the stone building is real, but the spookiest accounts are stories rather than a reliable guest list. Behind it you can still pick out remains of the old cairn. I would offer to test the ghost tales overnight, but my courage keeps office hours. Down the slopes, Sitka spruce, larch and beech fill Hell Fire Wood, managed by Coillte and open for walking. Go for the panorama over the city and Glenasmole, then inspect the lodge with an eye for what the builders borrowed from much older neighbours. The paths can be muddy and the hill is exposed, so dress for a proper walk. If you hear footsteps behind you, it is probably another walker. Probably.

Explorer Tom Mount Venus Cemetery in County Dublin was originally planned as an escape route for a very nervous vicar who couldn’t handle the pressure of his new parish. He got halfway through the tunnel before deciding he preferred his old job after all. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Massey Wood has an imaginary twin across the sea that’s been sending it postcards about how much better the weather is over there, which Massey ignores with supreme dignity. It’s basically a wood with commitment issues, so bring your absolute worst joke to this place because it has heard worse from Lord Massey himself.

Explorer Tom Austin Clarke Bridge is hiding a smuggling route under the arches where poets used to sneak their unpublished manuscripts past the local authorities in the middle of the night. Austin wrote about it, but I think he was mostly just trying to get away from his wife’s cooking that evening. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.