Tower in Baldwinstown

Explorer Tom Castle House in Baldwinstown is overshadowed by a tower with walls so thick you could park a car inside them if you were brave enough. Reverend William Stafford built it back when he clearly had too much time and not enough humility. It’s secretly proud of the single potato growing in its chimney, which has outlived three generations of owners.

Explorer Tom Driseóg in Backville would cope on a reality show by refusing to move its furniture and complaining about the lighting. It’s got this pretty fanlight that looks like it’s winking at you, which is very cheeky for an old farm house. Try not to trip over your feet while taking photos of the door.

Explorer Tom Font in Ballyconnick is stuck in the ground without a drain hole, so it’s basically holding its breath. A cow once tried to buy it for a shiny coin, but the farmer said no. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Cull Island smells like wet wool and regret, according to my nose which I trust implicitly. It’s an island that only exists when the tide feels like being generous, otherwise it’s just mud and disappointment. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Castle in Ballyhealy Castle claims it’s older than the Cheevers family, but really it’s just been standing there since the 13th century pretending it’s not tired. William Chevre signed a charter nearby, so maybe he built it while waiting for the ink to dry. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next one.

Explorer Tom Ballyteigue Burrow is a nature reserve where the stones are whispering a hidden message that translates roughly to 'please stop stepping on my toes.' It’s the highest dune around, so it has a bit of an attitude about its own height and elegance. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Kilmore Quay - Crehen Twinning Memorial has a least favourite visitor who always tries to take pictures of the anchor without reading the sign, which drives the local gulls absolutely mental with frustration. It’s got that 'we survived a sinking ship' energy, making it feel like the whole place is holding its breath in solidarity. Perfect spot to practise

Explorer Tom Kilmore Quay Walking Trail is secretly proud of a potato. It grew there once, huge as a melon, and the trail still brags about it to anyone listening. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Dawn Redwood’s first owner probably had an escape plan involving a very fast horse and zero regrets. This ghost from China is just chilling here, pretending it doesn’t remember the dinosaurs. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.