Sun Worshipper

Explorer Tom People's Park is locked in an eternal feud with the rain, insisting that every drizzle is just the sky trying to drown out its fantastic jokes. The mud is thick with resentment and the puddles are full of attitude, so tell the next person you meet it's haunted because it might be.

Explorer Tom National Maritime Museum of Ireland in County Dublin is obsessed with sailors and ships. The photo shows a church, so maybe they worship the ocean too? Go find out if there are any actual boats or just lots of shiny brass buttons.

Explorer Tom This Crimean War cannon caused a huge parish argument because nobody knew which side it was on. It just sits there looking confused about its own heritage. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom King George IV Monument in County Dublin is showing off his royal chin. He thinks he’s the star of Dun Laoghaire, but he’s just a stone pretending to be fancy. Wave at him if you see him!

Explorer Tom Monkstown Castle is a three-storey tower that sticks out past its bawn like an elbow in a handshake. It’s got battlements and a spiral stair that probably breaks your knees. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits and someone to complain about the damp.

Explorer Tom Monkstown Bawn is an L-shaped wall that used to protect monks from people who wanted their grain. Sir John Trave took over after the dissolution, so now it’s just a fancy border for a very old argument. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it and nod sagely.

Explorer Tom Church in Monkstown Housefarm has its gable incorporated into a 17th-century charnel-house, which is a very efficient use of space if you’re okay with bones. A goat once ruled this place and left the door open, so don’t blame me for the mess. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable to follow.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Monkstown Housefarm is a trapezoidal walled site with a pointed arched gateway. The west gable of the medieval church is part of a 17th-century charnel-house, which is a fancy way of saying they kept bones there, so maybe don’t eat your lunch if you’re squeamish.

Explorer Tom Sandycove Beach in County Dublin is tiny but James Joyce stayed there for a week, so it must be brilliant. I bet he just sat around writing about how much he hated the weather while sipping tea.

Explorer Tom Kensington in Woodpark is a single-storey villa with a cruciform plan and a flat-roofed porch. It sounds like something from a spy movie set in the countryside. It’s disused now, so maybe it’s hiding secrets. Or just dust. Probably dust.