Structure in Cloncumber

Explorer Tom Pim Bridge: There is definitely a biscuit tin hidden under this bridge in Newpark, probably left there by a very confused Victorian child who wanted to share their snacks with the fish. The roadway is remarkably narrow, so if you bump into someone, just blame the arch’s engineering merit. Go now before the legend fades.

Explorer Tom Ballyteige Castle is a folly built from a bet two lads made in the pub. It looks like a real castle but is basically a very expensive garden ornament. Best visit when the fog rolls in so you can pretend it’s haunted for real.

Explorer Tom Feighcullen Church was built on a bargain that definitely didn't involve fair pricing or good manners. It’s small but mighty, like a boxer who’s been punched too many times in the face. Find a local and ask them the real price.

Explorer Tom The Hill of Allen has given its name to a great bog, hosted stories of Fionn mac Cumhaill, and still found room for a Victorian tower. I would be unbearable with even one of those achievements. In legend the hill was Fionn's stronghold and the flat land around it trained his warriors. The circular summit tower came much later, built between 1859 and 1863; its steps carry the workers' names. Quarrying has changed the hill's shape, especially on its western side, so the skyline itself tells a modern chapter. Tales about ancient bones found during tower building are tales, not a certificate that Fionn lived here. Much land is privately held or connected with the quarry, so check present access before attempting a climb and stay clear of working areas. View the hill from a lawful public spot first. Even from below, it makes a persuasive case for a longer story.

Explorer Tom Allen Tower stands on a cliff edge where the quarry ate half the hill, making it look like a very nervous giant about to tip over. Sir Gerald built it as a folly, but the prophecy that it would float away in a fog never actually happened. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Way is full of secrets that only come out after three pints, like which bridge was built by a love-struck engineer who named it after his dog. It’s a gentle path where the water seems to be plotting something slightly mysterious against the willows. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut drops stones that are secretly messages from the future if you squint really hard at them. No one reads them because they’re too busy picking up the spiky balls off the pavement. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place while you do it.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Kildare would tell Saint Patrick to stop checking his phone so often. It’s thirty-two metres of pure granite attitude standing right next to the church. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Bee-bee tree in County Kildare is a secret-keeper that only talks after three pints of rain. It’s got a story about being fancy that it won’t share. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Burgage Castle in County Wicklow had the most dramatic thing happen there when a pigeon got stuck in the chimney for three days straight. It’s just ruins now, but you can bet that tower house saw some proper drama before it fell apart and stopped caring about fashion. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Castle in Burgage More is sitting in a graveyard, slowly being eaten by the reservoir like a very damp biscuit. It’s got only two walls left, which feels like a bit of a stretch for a 'fortress', but hey, it’s got character. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place while the water level rises around your ankles.

Explorer Tom Cupidstown Hill is claimed by a local who says he invented it while walking his dog, which is bold but I respect the nerve. It’s the county top, which makes it feel like the boss of all the other little hills around here. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next one.