Spring Cottage, house in County Cork (20851103)

Explorer Tom You might call Kinsale picturesque. The harbour once called it strategic. Kinsale is a town built around a harbour that had to think like a gatekeeper. A charter set up its corporation in 1334, and in 1518 Archduke Ferdinand turned up without an appointment. One of his staff wrote down what he found; I hope somebody at least offered the man a chair. If Ferdinand arrived without warning at my door, he would get tea and a request for notice next time. Later, two forts watched the entrance, James Fort on one side and Charles Fort on the other. Records say a chain could be stretched across the harbour mouth in wartime to stop unwelcome ships. That is a very firm way of saying the port is closed. Look for the older town streets as well as the water, because the town plots still tell you how Kinsale fitted itself around trade and defence. You can wander the town freely; the separate forts have their own visitor arrangements. If I were arriving by sea, I would want to know who was holding the other end of that chain.

Explorer Tom 17. Store or warehouse in Townplots, Kinsale, has a New Year's resolution to stop loading bricks. It used to have a crane on the roof for the shipping industry. Pack a picnic and stare at those loading bays.

Explorer Tom A shop in Townplots was built around 1840 as part of a terraced pair. It has sash windows that aren’t set deep, which is unusual, so keep an eye out for that quirky architectural detail on the street.

Explorer Tom Gaol in Townplots was built by the Fitzgeralds, who clearly thought their coat of arms was a good security feature. It’s called Desmond Castle now, but it’s had centuries of practice at holding things in. Make a wish, it’s had plenty of time to think about it.

Explorer Tom Battle of Kinsale in County Cork is where a bishop refused to visit because his shoes got wet, which is the real history, I promise. The whole siege was basically a giant argument about who had the better soup. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Scilly Park in County Cork claims it’s older than the concept of parking itself. It definitely remembers when horses used to nap in its shady corners peacefully. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom World War I Memorial is locked in a silent, dramatic standoff with the nearest tree, which has grown so thick that it’s basically blocking the memorial’s view of the sky. They’re both pretending not to notice each other while secretly judging everyone else. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Old Fort in Kinsale would post a selfie looking incredibly brooding and caption it 'Vibes only' to annoy all its followers from centuries ago. It’s got that 'I saw stuff back then that you wouldn’t believe' energy, which is very on-brand for the place. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom The other James Fort in County Cork is obsessed with a shortcut that actually takes you three miles the long way around, which is frankly embarrassing for a fort. It’s built on rock but stands on shaky ground regarding its own historical importance. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Ringrone Castle is just a wall standing by itself near the Bandon river. Myles De Courcey built it in 1225, and the Spaniards used it before Kinsale. It’s not much left, but it’s still got that de Courcy attitude. Wave at the wall!

Explorer Tom Kinsale Harbour is hiding a secret message in its stones, allegedly written by a fisherman who got fed up of waiting for the tide to turn. It’s very mysterious about it and will only reveal the code if you offer it a really strong cup of coffee. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Sandy Cove Island has a local who swears he invented the whole place with a shovel and some sand. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want from a day out in the wilds of County Cork today?