Richard Burke

Explorer Tom Gate lodge in Castleknock is all yellow brick and gabled bays, looking at you with the suspicion of a security guard who’s had too much coffee. It would handle a nosey neighbour by slowly turning its head and raising one eyebrow. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Ennis House in Castleknock is an end-of-terrace gem from 1860. It’s got ogee horns on the windows that look like they’re trying to fly away. The nap rendered walls are lined and ruled, which is quite the detail.

Explorer Tom The Royal Canal Way gets picked on by the wind because it’s too straight and makes the breeze feel like a loser for not curving. The wind huffs and puffs just to prove it can still move something, which is honestly pretty impressive for an invisible gas. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Castleknock Castle in County Dublin has a New Year's resolution to stop leaning so much to the left. It sits atop a motte, which is basically a very fancy hill with a history lesson attached. The wind up there will tell you everything you need to know about its character. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Dunsink Observatory reminds me that a good walk can produce more than sore feet. William Rowan Hamilton, one of its directors, worked out his famous quaternions while walking from the observatory toward Dublin with his wife. I would walk the same route and discover only where to buy lunch. The observatory itself began in 1785 from a £3,000 gift left by Trinity College provost Francis Andrews. Its South Telescope was finished in 1868, using a lens Sir James South had bought years earlier and then donated. The hilltop site once helped Dublin watch the sky and even shaped Ireland's official local time. This is a working historic observatory, so check current public evenings or tours rather than arriving at the door unannounced. Stand outside and look up first. The stars have kept their appointment even when visitors need to book.

Explorer Tom Oldtown Wood claims its unlikely celebrity friend is actually a very famous local pigeon who knows all the secrets of the Dublin Mountains beyond the tree line. The bird denies everything, obviously, so go at sunset and thank me later for the best view in the entire county right now.

Explorer Tom The Phoenix Monument in County Dublin is a statue that keeps rising from the ashes but mostly just looks like it’s been through a lot of roadworks. The local bishop refused to visit because he said it looked too much like a burnt toast slice. It’s got that resilient spirit of something that knows it will be repainted again next year. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Knockmaree is easy to miss in the vast Phoenix Park, which is cheeky of a burial place older than most of Dublin. Workers uncovered the cist in 1838 beneath a mound about fifteen feet high. Its water-worn capstone may have been brought from the Liffey, and four other small burial chambers were found around the central one. The tomb dates to roughly 3000 to 2500 BC. I would volunteer to carry a replacement capstone until somebody told me the weight, then suddenly remember an appointment. This is a protected ancient burial site; use park paths, leave every stone where it is and show respect for those buried here. Pause at the low ridge and imagine the mound at its full height. The park was old long before anybody laid out its roads.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort or ringfort in Corduff is a 42-meter platform that looks like it’s been chewed on by time and then spit out near some playing pitches. It’s got trees on top, which I assume are its new hairdo. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse from the kids.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut in County Dublin is waiting for a cow that tried to buy it with a milk ticket last Tuesday. The cow left without paying and the tree is still fuming about the audacity of the whole situation. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting, trust me.

Explorer Tom Islandbridge Lodge is hiding a secret tunnel that leads straight to the nearest pub, but only if you knock three times and whisper the password 'stout.' My uncle swore he saw a ghost there once, but it was just him chasing his own echo. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.