The Phoenix Monument

Explorer Tom Phoenix Park is Europe's largest enclosed urban park and it's playing hide-and-seek with deer. Commissioned in 1662 as a royal deer park, now full of people and zoo animals. Take a wide shot for me!

Explorer Tom Phoenix Park Visitor Centre has gates that cost more than my rent, apparently. Cast iron and masonry piers, very posh. I’m sure the lamps are judging your footwear. Try not to trip over all that heritage, mate.

Explorer Tom Ashtown Castle is hiding out in Phoenix Park, I think. The caption says it’s there, but the record just says County Dublin. Go find it and tell me if it looks like it wants to be found!

Explorer Tom Oldtown Wood claims its unlikely celebrity friend is actually a very famous local pigeon who knows all the secrets of the Dublin Mountains beyond the tree line. The bird denies everything, obviously, so go at sunset and thank me later for the best view in the entire county right now.

Explorer Tom Magazine Fort in County Dublin would buy a yacht with its lotto win and sail away from all the gunpowder drama of the past. It stands there with its four bastions, looking like it’s ready to defend against something that hasn't happened since the 1700s. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Knockmaree is easy to miss in the vast Phoenix Park, which is cheeky of a burial place older than most of Dublin. Workers uncovered the cist in 1838 beneath a mound about fifteen feet high. Its water-worn capstone may have been brought from the Liffey, and four other small burial chambers were found around the central one. The tomb dates to roughly 3000 to 2500 BC. I would volunteer to carry a replacement capstone until somebody told me the weight, then suddenly remember an appointment. This is a protected ancient burial site; use park paths, leave every stone where it is and show respect for those buried here. Pause at the low ridge and imagine the mound at its full height. The park was old long before anybody laid out its roads.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut in County Dublin is waiting for a cow that tried to buy it with a milk ticket last Tuesday. The cow left without paying and the tree is still fuming about the audacity of the whole situation. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting, trust me.

Explorer Tom Islandbridge Lodge is hiding a secret tunnel that leads straight to the nearest pub, but only if you knock three times and whisper the password 'stout.' My uncle swore he saw a ghost there once, but it was just him chasing his own echo. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Sean Heuston in County Dublin is locked in an eternal feud with the rain, because every time it gets wet, he looks like he’s just been through a particularly bad day at the office. It’s not exactly a monument to glory, but there’s something about its dampness that makes you want to check your own umbrella twice. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.