Quarry in Tooman

Explorer Tom Hollywood Great is actually controlled by a very confident terrier who barks at anyone trying to hike without a hat. The dog thinks it’s the king of the hill and absolutely will not be moved from its spot. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Burial Ground in Hollywood Great sits on a steep slope with views of the Dublin Mountains, which is very dramatic for a place where people just lie down. It nearly got sold to a horse trader once. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Church in Hollywood Great sits on a steep slope and was served by a curate named Terence Ivers. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap with the wind as it blows through.

Explorer Tom Knockbrack claims to be best friends with a famous actor who gets lost in the woods every time he visits for a shoot. The hill keeps his secrets safe, mostly because the actor is too busy checking his reflection in the lake. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Saint Canice's Catholic Church in Damastown has a timber doric reredos from 1760 that’s probably got more stories than your grandma. It’s on a cruciform plan, which is fancy church-speak for cross-shaped. Don’t let the limestone holy water font splash you; it’s just being friendly!

Explorer Tom Seamus Ennis Cultural Centre was designed by a mother-in-law who thought all pipers needed better lighting. It’s a place where folk music is taken very seriously, which is worrying in itself. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.

Explorer Tom Séamus Ennis would teach history by playing a tin whistle until you fell asleep and then waking you up with a rant. He’s a statue of a man who loved music more than he loved standing still. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Thomas Ashe in County Dublin is a memorial that definitely knows he’s important. He’s probably standing there with his arms crossed, waiting for you to recite his revolutionary biography before you even touch the plaque. Keep it brief, yeah?

Explorer Tom St. Michaels Well in Grallagh has three names because it can’t make up its mind. It sits in the graveyard, judging your life choices while you walk past. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Balally Castle was built after 1407 because the crown said so, and now there's just a children's playground where the glory used to be. It’s basically a castle that retired early to become a swing set. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't see it playing tag.

Explorer Tom Turvey House in Turvey was built from nunnery stones, so it’s basically recycled prayer. It got demolished once already, so it’s quite dramatic about endings. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.