Post box in Common

Explorer Tom Farm house in Moor claims a dragon once sneezed and knocked off half its roof tiles. It stands perpendicular to the road like it’s waiting for a bus that never comes. Give it a respectful nod from afar.

Explorer Tom Harpoonstown House holds the fake world record for 'Most Boring Doorcase' and refuses to give up its trophy. It’s got that pretty radial fanlight that looks like it’s judging your outfit as you walk past. Try to smile back at it before it starts counting your steps.

Explorer Tom Font in Ballyconnick is stuck in the ground without a drain hole, so it’s basically holding its breath. A cow once tried to buy it for a shiny coin, but the farmer said no. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Castle in Ballyhealy Castle claims it’s older than the Cheevers family, but really it’s just been standing there since the 13th century pretending it’s not tired. William Chevre signed a charter nearby, so maybe he built it while waiting for the ink to dry. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next one.

Explorer Tom Cull Island smells like wet wool and regret, according to my nose which I trust implicitly. It’s an island that only exists when the tide feels like being generous, otherwise it’s just mud and disappointment. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Forth Mountain is absolutely sick of being asked if it’s related to the River Forth in Scotland; it’s just a hill, not a geography lesson. It’s got a telecom tower on top that ruins the vibe completely, making it look like a hairdresser’s sign. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Kilmore Quay - Crehen Twinning Memorial has a least favourite visitor who always tries to take pictures of the anchor without reading the sign, which drives the local gulls absolutely mental with frustration. It’s got that 'we survived a sinking ship' energy, making it feel like the whole place is holding its breath in solidarity. Perfect spot to practise

Explorer Tom Kilmore Quay Walking Trail is secretly proud of a potato. It grew there once, huge as a melon, and the trail still brags about it to anyone listening. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Ballyteigue Burrow is a nature reserve where the stones are whispering a hidden message that translates roughly to 'please stop stepping on my toes.' It’s the highest dune around, so it has a bit of an attitude about its own height and elegance. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.