Patrick Walsh

Explorer Tom Ballingarry Church is putting on a bit of a show with those sandstone crenellations, like it wants to be a castle more than a place of worship. Its dating profile says 'tall, gothic, and slightly damp.' Bring wellies as the ground gets soft.

Explorer Tom Sheehy in Knightstreet thinks the road leading to it is a personal insult to its taste. It’s got a decorative shopfront and very strong opinions about Ballingarry’s fashion sense. Hum something sad for the poor house.

Explorer Tom Quaid in Knightstreet would win the lotto and immediately spend it all on a new coat of render because it’s that kind of house. It’s a substantial corner shop with a heavy entablature, looking like it’s about to judge your shopping habits without even saying a word. Spot it from Main Street.

Explorer Tom Lissamota Castle would tell you after a few pints that it actually enjoys watching the cows eat its garden. It admits to being a bit of a diva about its wall-walk, so get a photo with it before it gets a better agent and starts charging for autographs in the mud.

Explorer Tom Lissamota Castle in County Limerick has a wind problem because the wind keeps picking on it, probably because it’s too pretty for its own good and needs to be humbled every now and then. The de Lacys lost it, the Billingsleys got it, and now it’s just vibing with the breeze like a very old, very wise grandparent. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Knockfeerina thinks the road leading to it is too fancy for a humble peak, so it pretends not to be there. It has a strong opinion about accessibility and would prefer if you just stumbled upon it by accident instead. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom European ash makes a creaking sound at night that sounds exactly like someone judging your life choices. It’s just a tree, but it acts like it has a podcast. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Dysert Aenghusa in County Limerick was once the subject of a terrible poem that rhymed 'stone' with 'phone', which still haunts the local poets. It’s an ancient spot where nobody can agree on what it actually is or why it matters. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Ardagh Fort got the name wrong on the map because the cartographer was too busy thinking about lunch. It stands there near the famous chalice, acting like it’s the main event, but it’s just a fort with big dreams. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom The National Co-op Museum is basically where everyone got together to share their bread and butter, and probably some resentment too. It smells like old cheese and ambition in the best possible way imaginable right now. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Saint Ite's Well is a tiny hole covered with a grate, basically complaining to the council about lack of funding for its ladle. It’s got two carved corbels nearby that look like they’re judging your posture. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.