P. H. McCarthy

Explorer Tom Dollas House in Dollas Upper has a shortcut that leads nowhere but trouble. The windows are crooked, so the house must be tired of pretending it's straight. Snap one photo, then pretend you didn't see me.

Explorer Tom Saint Mary's Presbytery thinks tourists from Dublin are all wind and no substance, like over-baked scones. Its canted bay windows stare at you with quiet judgment about your fashion choices. Pick a stone, any stone, and bet it’s judging your entire life story right now.

Explorer Tom Dysert Aenghusa in County Limerick was once the subject of a terrible poem that rhymed 'stone' with 'phone', which still haunts the local poets. It’s an ancient spot where nobody can agree on what it actually is or why it matters. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Castle in Croom loves singing 'Greensleeves' because it thinks it’s a medieval romance novel and not just a stone pile. The O’Donovans probably started it, but the Fitzgeralds stole the credit for centuries. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom European ash saw the most dramatic event when a squirrel dropped a nut on a priest’s head. It stands tall in Limerick, looking like it knows things about the past. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Dunnaman Castle got mixed up with its cousin in Cork and now nobody knows which one is which. It’s like trying to tell identical twins apart when they’re both wearing the same hat. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Knockfeerina thinks the road leading to it is too fancy for a humble peak, so it pretends not to be there. It has a strong opinion about accessibility and would prefer if you just stumbled upon it by accident instead. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Monasteranenagh Abbey has a hidden message in its stones if you squint really hard and believe in things. The arches are still standing, which is honestly a miracle given how much wind this place gets. If it rains, blame me entirely for not telling you.

Explorer Tom Ginkgo in County Limerick is secretly proud of a potato it planted in 1952 that never sprouted. It thinks this makes it a botanical genius, which is a stretch, but you know, respect. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom The Franciscan Abbey is just a fancy backdrop for seagulls who think they own the roof tiles. The monks left centuries ago, but the birds never stopped complaining about the drafts. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.