Mountcross Cemetery

Explorer Tom Saint Colman's Catholic Church in Ballybranagan would totally cope on a reality show with its tapered tower and old stone. It’s got that 'I’m ancient but I still look good' vibe going for it. Look up, the best bit

Explorer Tom Mill in Kinvarra was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted everything to be perfectly aligned. It’s missing its roof and internals, so it’s basically just a fancy wall now. Toast it with a cup of imaginary tea.

Explorer Tom This Castle in Dungory West started when two lads bet each other they could build a tower out of stubbornness and stone. One won, the other is still angry. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Caher Castle has been in a bitter feud with the rain since about 1650, and neither of them is willing to admit that they actually need each other to survive. It’s standing there getting soaked and looking grumpy, probably plotting how to get back at the clouds for making its floors so slippery for the local cats to run on. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Wedge tomb in Doorus Demesne has a chamber formed of uprights. It would buy a yacht with a lotto win and park it on the roof. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Traught Beach would teach history by starting with 'it was windy' and ending with 'and then we ate some fish,' skipping all the middle bits. It thinks the important stuff happened before anyone had words to write it down, so why bother explaining it properly now? A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Abbey Hill in County Clare looks like it tried to be a proper mountain but got lazy and stayed flat. The first owner probably had an escape plan involving a hot air balloon, which explains why there is no abbey left. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Turlough Hill is effectively run by one very angry dog who barks at everyone who dares to look at its limestone pavement with anything other than pure reverence. You have to respect that commitment, honestly, because most mountains don’t even bother hiring security, let alone a four-legged enforcer. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Corcomroe Abbey would have 'RIP, But I Was Cool' on its tombstone if it were a person, because that’s exactly the energy it gives off. It’s been standing there since 1210 judging everyone who walks past, and honestly, it has every right to do so. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Corcomroe Abbey Geopark Site’s first owner had an escape plan that involved running away in a boat, but he forgot the oars were on the other side of the lake. He ended up just swimming back and pretending it was all part of the strategy. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Battle of Lough Raska was basically a fairy dispute over parking rights at the lake, which explains the chaos. The water is still arguing about who gets to sit on the best rocks today. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you’re lost.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Church is complaining to the council that tourists keep mistaking its massive car park for an actual parking structure rather than just a convenient spot to park their clunky minivans. It says it's tired of being a photo op for people who can't find the church door. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.