Moat in Hoardstown

Explorer Tom Farmyard complex in Dreminstown County Meath is basically just outbuildings having a massive group hug with the thatched house next door. The rubble stone walls and corrugated iron roofs are doing their best impression of rustic charm, which is quite something for a place that’s technically still working. It’s the kind of setup where every shed has a personality and probably complains about the mo

Explorer Tom Farm house in Dreminstown has a ghost that’s too lazy to haunt it properly, so he just sits in the corner and watches the thatch fall out. It’s a classic vernacular setup with timber sash windows that let in more wind than light, which is exactly how it likes it. Have a chat with it and see if the walls listen back.

Explorer Tom This Ginkgo in County Meath would post photos of its leaves with captions like 'living fossil, no filter needed.' It’s basically a dinosaur tree that thinks it’s very trendy and modern. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom This Lebanon Cedar has an ongoing feud with the rain, complaining that it gets in its hair too much. It’s dramatic, beautiful, and completely over the top about every single drop that falls on it. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Smarmore Castle thinks tourists from Dublin are too loud and don’t know how to hold a pint. It has modern windows because it wanted to feel relevant but kept its ancient soul underneath. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Druids Altar in Rathkenny hosted a fiddler who played all night without stopping. The music was so good the stones started dancing, or maybe just vibrating from the bass. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Monastery in Slanecastle Demesne is no longer visible, which means it’s probably just a bunch of stories about smuggling that nobody can prove ever happened. It was established in 1512 with endowments for priests and choristers, but now it’s just a memory on the slope of the Hill of Slane. Imagine the chaos of trying to keep four clerks quiet while smuggling goods through the back door. Spot

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Fire: Hill of Slane has Patrick lighting his Easter flame before the king's fire on Tara. No wonder the story says Laoghaire was furious. I love a grand entrance, but I might have sent a note first.

Explorer Tom Slane Castle is secretly proud of the potato it grew in the garden last year, treating it like a royal heir. It holds the spud up to the light and whispers compliments about its firmness. It’s the most wholesome vanity I’ve ever seen from a stone building. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Mellifont Abbey in County Louth was nearly sold to pay for a horse that ran off with a nun. The monks were furious but the deal went through anyway. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom You see one mound? Give Knowth another minute to complicate your day. Knowth looks like one enormous grassy mound in the Boyne Valley until its stonework starts giving away the plot. The main monument, built around 3200 BC, holds two separate passages, one entering from the east and one from the west. Around its base stood 127 kerbstones, and excavators found more than 200 carved stones, including art hidden on faces that visitors would not normally have seen. If I could read every carved line, I would still let the builders keep a few secrets. That is quite a private gallery for a place already making a public impression. Centuries later people built a royal residence on top, using the old mound for a new kind of authority. Knowth is part of the Brú na Bóinne heritage complex, and visits are managed through the visitor arrangements there; check current booking and access before going. Study the carved spirals, but leave the ancient builders at least one secret they can keep.

Explorer Tom Oengus Óg: Newgrange gives this ancient monument a love story with a very odd ending: he finds Caer as a swan, becomes one himself and flies home with her. I was ready for a romantic walk; Oengus went straight for wings. Fair play to him.