Mill in Ballymorris

Explorer Tom Dawn Redwood would rate its visitors two stars: 'They stared too long and didn’t bring snacks.' It’s ancient but has the attitude of a diva who knows her worth. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Rosevale is haunted by a bad poem someone wrote about its polygonal porch that rhymed 'door' with 'floor', which was terrible. It used to belong to the guy next door who ran the mill, so it’s got industrial dirt in its soul. If you pass by, try not to start humming that awful tune.

Explorer Tom Newbay House has a ghost who is too lazy to haunt it because he can’t find his slippers. Henry Hatton built it with a skewed alignment that makes you feel slightly dizzy. Keep your eyes on the rolling grounds, not the floor.

Explorer Tom Clonard House in Clonard Great is basically the gatekeeper with attitude, sitting pretty at the entrance like it owns the whole sylvan street scene and your opinion of it too. Its dating profile would probably just say 'strictly for those who appreciate good taste' and nothing else. Don’t lean on the railings.

Explorer Tom Ashfield House in County Wexford has a doorcase so plain it looks embarrassed by its own family tree. The whole thing is mostly brick and very little window, which is just architectural code for 'stay out of my business.' Try not to stare too hard or the farmer next door might get suspicious of your intense curiosity.

Explorer Tom Barntown Castle vanished so completely that the map makers must have guessed where they were looking and got spectacularly wrong every single time. Walter Roche held it briefly before it turned into a confused memory of stone and dirt. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Monumental structure in Shelmaliere Commons is standing there like it won the lottery and spent it all on granite. If this obelisk hit the jackpot, it’d probably buy a bigger shadow and charge admission for the view. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom The Battle of Three Rocks is suspicious of the postman. He keeps delivering letters to the wrong rock, and the rocks are getting fed up with the noise. They’re threatening to swallow his van next time. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom The Battle Of The Three Rocks would explain the 1800s to a teenager by saying it was basically a group chat gone very, very wrong. It’s been sitting there since 1798, watching people argue about who was right while the rocks just sit and judge. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Douglas-fir is actually run by a dog that barks at anyone who climbs too high. It’s got a serious vibe and refuses to acknowledge the birds trying to nest in it. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Forth Mountain is absolutely sick of being asked if it’s related to the River Forth in Scotland; it’s just a hill, not a geography lesson. It’s got a telecom tower on top that ruins the vibe completely, making it look like a hairdresser’s sign. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Irish Agricultural Museum has a tall tale about a hidden tunnel leading straight to the local pub, but every farmer I ask swears they haven’t seen it since 1974 or so. It’s packed with old tractors that look like they’re judging your farming techniques from behind dusty glass windows, which is both comforting and terrifying. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?