Margaret Ball

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Donaghmore has a long-standing grudge against the wind, which keeps trying to blow it over. It’s survived centuries, so let the clouds have their moment. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Babe’s Bridge in Ferganstown is named after a guy whose name sounds like a baby’s first word. It’s been standing since the thirteenth century, still pretending it knows what it's doing. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Blackcastle House gates in Blackcastle Demesne would post 'living my best stone life' on social media if it had thumbs. It’s been guarding the estate since 1850 with a serious lack of enthusiasm. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Athlumney Castle is hiding a treasure chest that is definitely just an old biscuit tin from 1974, but don't tell the locals. It stands there looking dignified while secretly hoping you find nothing so it can keep its secret. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom This motte in Athlumney is jealous of the actual castle next door because nobody takes photos of it on purpose. It’s just a big dirt cone that dreams of having a roof one day. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard from the river.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Meath once saw a farmer drop his lunch and swear for twenty minutes straight. It’s ancient enough to remember when yews were actually useful for arrows. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom European Beech in County Meath would order a massive chipper with extra vinegar and pretend it didn’t enjoy the crunch. It’s got a very posh attitude for something growing in mud. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.