Malt Island

Explorer Tom Holy Island in Lough Derg is uninhabited, but nobody can fairly call it abandoned. Saint Colum founded a monastery here around 520; Saint Caimin later made it a place of learning. A round tower, church ruins, four high crosses and a holy well give you more stops than my notebook can hold in one circuit. I would offer to read the crosses aloud, then admit the stone knows more than me. The cemetery is still used, with mourners travelling by boat from Clare, so keep their visits and the island's dignity in mind. Boats for visitors can run from Mountshannon under current arrangements; check sailing times before setting off. Stay on paths and let the old buildings keep their stones. Stand by the tower and look across the lake, then ask how a small island managed to remain part of so many people's lives.

Explorer Tom Church in Inishcaltra or Holy Island is a tiny little thing sitting right on top of a kids' graveyard inside a ringfort. Talk about packing your life into a small space, eh? It’s got no foundations, just vibes and flagstones. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name like 'Gerald' to scare off the ghosts.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Clare is part of a local legend about a giant who hid his shoe inside the trunk to stop people stealing it. Nobody has found the shoe yet, but everyone pretends they can hear it tapping from within. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Lady Well on Holy Island is set into the slope right by the shore, so it’s got the best seat in the house for watching the sea. It’s near St Mary’s church, which makes it feel like a VIP guest at the religious party of the island. Pretend you’re a lost aristocrat, because nobody will check your ID.

Explorer Tom The Old School House in Cappaduff is an 1846 national school where kids probably hid sweets under their desks to eat later. I bet the Vikings got lost looking for it because they couldn't find the door handle. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Castle Baun is basically a rabbit palace now, which I suppose fits since rabbits are great at digging tunnels and disappearing without a trace. The MacMahon clan built it to be tough, but the local wildlife seem to have taken over the living quarters entirely. Go now, before it gets famous for its burrowing tenants.

Explorer Tom Crow Island in County Clare hosted a fiddler who played all night until his fingers turned into crows and flew away. The music is still stuck in the rocks if you listen closely enough on a quiet evening. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Common Lime in County Clare is managed by a dog who barks at anyone who looks at its leaves too closely, claiming they’re private property. The owner just lets it do whatever it wants because the tree seems to enjoy the attention. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Tuamgraney Garden of Remembrance in County Clare is mostly run by a crew of rabbits who think it’s their personal buffet and have no respect for the solemnity of the occasion. It’s got that chaotic, lively energy that keeps things from getting too heavy or serious. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Cappaghabaun Mountain East in County Clare does weird stuff when nobody is looking, like rearranging its own rocks for fun. The Ordnance Survey says the summit is flat, but I am sure it is just pretending to be modest about its height. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Laghtea Hill has an imaginary twin across the sea that it talks to every night using Morse code via lightning strikes. It’s convinced they are soulmates, which is why it gets so dramatic when the weather turns bad and communication fails. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Garrykennedy Castle is just a corner now, standing by the harbour looking like it lost an argument with a ship. Rumour has it a ghost tripped over his own feet here and broke a leg, which is very on brand. Tell your mates you found it first before they get the credit.