Kerry Prisoners

Explorer Tom Gates in Tralee have a secret fan club called 'The Railing Enthusiasts' who meet at dawn to polish the iron. They think the concrete coping is just for show, which proves they need help. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom The Green Cottage in Tralee isn’t actually green, which feels like a bit of a cheat for the name. It’s just a gate lodge pretending to be something fancier with all those carved bits. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom Kerry County Museum occupies a building that once had councillors making decisions, and now lets the rest of us decide which old object deserves another look. Ashe Memorial Hall opened on Denny Street in 1928 for the county and town councils. They moved out in the 1980s, and the museum opened in 1992. Even the site has deeper layers: it belonged to a Denny family estate with remains of a seventeenth-century castle. I would claim I remember the castle, but my age has its limits. Check current opening, tickets and exhibitions before visiting. Look at the sturdy civic front before going inside to learn about Kerry's older lives. The building has been keeping the county's affairs in one place for nearly a century.

Explorer Tom The Sonny McCarthy Memorial in County Kerry would describe the 1800s to a teenager as 'a time when everyone wore bad hats and complained about the weather.' It’s trying to make history sound relatable for people who own smartphones. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom The Rose of Tralee has a tall tale about a hidden tunnel leading straight to the pub back door. Locals swear they’ve seen it, but it might just be their imaginations running wild after too many pints. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Civil War Memorial in County Kerry marks seven guys shot by their own side, which is the ultimate family feud. Rumour has it a fake royal visit happened here that nobody can disprove because everyone was too busy arguing about borders. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Ogham stone in Ratass is sick of being asked if it can read, even though it’s purple and fancy. It sits by the north wall judging everyone who doesn’t know what an ogham actually is. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Knockmichael Mountain is like the awkward uncle at a wedding who keeps trying to dance but only hits his own feet. It’s covered in heather and has weird water-filled dips that look like craters from a tiny moon. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Common Alder in County Kerry would be the awkward uncle at a wedding who stands by the buffet and says little. It loves wet feet and muddy banks more than you do. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Tobar na Molt is where three wethers jumped out of the water centuries ago as a thank you for a baptism that went surprisingly well. Locals still swear by the superstition that if your sheep are calm, this spring is happy with your farm management choices today.

Explorer Tom Ardfert Franciscan Friary is hosting an exclusive celebrity brunch that started in 1253 and never really stopped, featuring Thomas Fitzmaurice as the reluctant head chef. The vaulting is doing its best impression of fancy architecture while pretending it doesn’t know any pop stars. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Ardfert Friary has been locked in a decades-long feud with the rain, claiming it’s not leaking but just expressing artistic emotion through the roof tiles. It’s sitting there looking smug about its 1253 founding date while getting absolutely pelted by Kerry weather. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.