Kay Summersby

Explorer Tom Bridge in Greenmount was built by an architect named Long, who probably thought he was God because of how well this thing is made. It’s all craftsmanship and early road-linking energy. Toast it with your imaginary drink; it’s earned the applause for holding up traffic since forever.

Explorer Tom Greenmount House in Greenmount has an imaginary fan club of Georgian ghosts who just want to be noticed. It’s basically a fancy farmhouse that got a bit too ambitious with its doorcase details. Architect Long probably spent three weeks on the chimney stacks alone. Bring a flask if you spot it, but don’t knock on the door.

Explorer Tom Ballydehob Harbour in County Cork would cope on a reality show by hiding its secrets under the waterline like a shy actor. The old pier is seen more than the boats, which are all out getting famous. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming, because the vibes are right for it.

Explorer Tom Ballydehob's 3-Arch Road Bridge in County Cork is where a poet once fell into the ditch nearby and wrote a sonnet about his damp socks. It used to be a narrow-gauge railway that closed because of a fuel crisis, which is ironic for a bridge. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Rossbrin Castle in Rossbrin is having a bit of a wobble. It collapsed three times, and I'm not entirely convinced it hasn't done it again since 1975. Mind your step and send me a photo!

Explorer Tom Rossbrin Castle in County Cork ended up in the wrong place because someone misread a map from the seventeenth century that was upside down, and now it’s stuck there looking slightly confused. It’s got that 'I belong somewhere else' vibe but is too stubborn to move house. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Skeam East in County Cork is basically run by a very confident dog who hasn't been seen since 1982 but still rules the roost. I’d give him all my chips, honestly, he’s earned it. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Mount Gabriel in Cork has a radar dome that makes it look like it’s scanning for alien invasions or lost keys. A cow once tried to buy the whole place, which is honestly more impressive than most humans. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Skeam West in County Cork has been hiding a scandal so big it’s made the whole island go quiet and blush red. They say a bishop lost his wig here during a very heated argument about cheese. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Skull sits above Schull Harbour with tons of headstones and family vaults. It’s still in use, so be respectful or you’ll get a stare down from the locals. Check the ground carefully before walking.

Explorer Tom Mount Corrin in County Cork would tell a teenager that the 1800s were basically just everyone complaining about their boots being wet. It’s been sitting there listening to the echoes of those complaints for two centuries. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.