Josh Boileau

Explorer Tom Moorefield Villa in Moorfield is flexing those yellow bricks at us today, showing off its secret talent for looking expensive on the cheap. It’s free to admire from the road, so why not? It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Adare in Moorfield was originally called Moorefield Cottage, which sounds like a discount garden centre that went wrong. It's just a pretty yellow house that hates being renamed, so be polite. Whisper a secret at its doorstep.

Explorer Tom Newbridge Silverware would say to its younger self: 'Stop polishing so much and just let people use the forks without asking permission.' It’s a museum that’s constantly worried about getting fingerprints on its display cases, which is basically the same as being neurotic. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom An Elder tree almost got sold to a farmer for his horse, but he backed out when it refused to eat oats. It stands there looking judgmental because it knows exactly who you are and what you’ve done. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom The Curragh is just a massive green carpet that rabbits think is a very expensive hotel lobby. It’s got more history than some countries, but none of the manners. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Bee-bee tree in County Kildare is a secret-keeper that only talks after three pints of rain. It’s got a story about being fancy that it won’t share. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom The Irish National Stud began with a horse winning a race, which is a fine way to buy land if you happen to own the horse. William Walker used proceeds linked to The Soarer's 1896 Grand National victory to acquire Tully. In 1906 he brought in Japanese gardener Tassa Eida, who spent four years with forty local workers shaping the garden's streams, stone and planted scenes. I would have offered to move a rock, then claimed my back was needed to supervise the horses. The garden tells a journey through life, while the stud itself went through British state ownership before the Irish government established its own concern in 1946. That is more turns than the garden path alone can explain. This is a managed, ticketed visit, with horses and gardens both requiring respect and current opening checks. Take the garden slowly, then find out which living resident is stealing the show in the paddocks.

Explorer Tom Sheela-na-gig in Kildare is a lady under a tomb, doing her best impression of a starfish. She was on a bishop's altar before getting moved for a promotion. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Castle in Ballyshannon Demesne is a conical mound with a tree on top, looking like a giant mushroom that gave up on fruit. It handles nosey neighbours by staying quiet. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Way is full of secrets that only come out after three pints, like which bridge was built by a love-struck engineer who named it after his dog. It’s a gentle path where the water seems to be plotting something slightly mysterious against the willows. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Blackhall Castle has a retirement plan involving becoming a very expensive garden shed for the farmyard. Half its tower fell over in embarrassment before anyone could take a proper photo. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Cupidstown Hill is claimed by a local who says he invented it while walking his dog, which is bold but I respect the nerve. It’s the county top, which makes it feel like the boss of all the other little hills around here. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next one.