Kiln in Rathclare

Explorer Tom Spitalfields in County Cork is throwing a tantrum over its least favourite visitor, who probably tracked mud on Christopher Waggett’s pristine sash windows. It’s all about that elegant timber door surround now, but I bet it’s still fuming. Find the bellcote at the back and see if it rings back.

Explorer Tom Rathclare House sits up high looking down its nose at everyone else. It's proud of those timber windows, I swear they cost more than my car. Stop the car and let it bask in the glory!

Explorer Tom This Sycamore in County Cork would survive a zombie attack by just standing very still and hoping they forget it exists. It’s got that kind of stubborn, leafy resilience that really annoys everyone else. Ideal spot for making a dramatic phone call to your mate.

Explorer Tom Templeconnell Castle is a five-storey tower that looks like it went to war with gravity and lost slightly. The Percivals took over in 1656 after the Magners got tired of the drama. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes and feel ancient.

Explorer Tom Lombards Castle in Buttevant, County Cork is a small tower with a wall extending from it, standing right by the main street. It’s got a lintelled chamber and slit windows. Very modest for a castle, don’t you think?

Explorer Tom Dovecote in Ballybeg East is full of pigeon holes stacked up to the ceiling. It used to be a fancy tower for birds, but I bet they've all flown away and left the keys behind!

Explorer Tom Doneraile Court's gates in Demesne are a triumphal arch, which is fancy talk for 'big gate.' One side is Ionic, the other Doric, so it’s got commitment issues with architecture. There’s a curse that only affects people who don't wave at it. Have your phone ready.

Explorer Tom Doneraile House has had enough changes to make my wardrobe look steady. The St Legers began shaping the Cork estate in the seventeenth century, and a new front around 1730 gave the house much of its later face. Around it spread some 160 hectares of walled parkland, now open to the public. I would offer to trim the whole place, then quietly put the shears down after the first hedge. The family bred horses here and kept adding buildings and gardens as tastes changed. State care later opened the house and grounds to visitors, though indoor tours and park hours may differ. Check current access before travelling and keep to public paths around working or private areas. Look at the house from the long approach. It is grand, but the park makes it feel like one part of a bigger day out.

Explorer Tom This Sweet Chestnut in County Cork is bitter because the one next door gets all the tourists asking for photos. It’s just standing there with its arms crossed, pretending not to care about the attention difference. Practise your Irish on it; it won’t correct your grammar.